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Thursday, December 18, 2008

advent

I have been doing the daily advent readings out of The Living Word magazine which I really enjoy, but yesterday I started a new book called the O antiphons. Father Matthew gave it to me a few years ago, and I love it.

Dec. 17 O Sapientia ~O wisdom O Holy word of God
Dec. 18 O Adonai~O Sacred Lord of ancient Israel
Dec. 19 O Radix Jesse~ O flower of Jesse's stem
Dec. 20, O Clavis David~O key of David,O royal power of Israel
Dec. 21 O Oriens~O /radiant dawn, O splendor of eternal light
Dec. 22 O Rex Gentium~O King of all the nations
Dec. 23 O Emmanuel~ O Emmanuel king and lawgiver
In reverse order they spell out Ero cras, or tomorrow I will be there.

This is just a brief outline of the antiphons, and the scriptures from Isaiah and the full readings can be found on line. Thank you Father Matthew for helping me stay focused on waiting for the Lord.

Christmas shopping

Ben and I went Christmas shopping tuesday and wednesday with our little tag along Alexandra. We are trying to cut back on our expenses this year. His bonus was smaller than last year, and while we are very fortunate and blessed, we are really trying to take the focus off the gifts . The children all do their shopping at dollar tree, or they make their gifts. It is so funny to see all of them trying to hide their finds, as they all shop at the same time in the same store. Afterwards, we get a snack and go look at the christmas lights.

This year as I shopped at yard sales, and thrift stores, when I found something wonderful, I set it aside for the children to give it as a gift. I had an interesting time wrapping a few days ago with Sean, Christian, and Alexandra helping me. She liked the tags, she keeps trying to pull them off the gifts.

We still have some shopping to do, but after picking up a few more things, I think we should just stop. How much is enough, or even too much? We are rethinking how many gifts we give, we don't want the focus of the season to be lost in wrapping paper, and how much you get.

My health problems are forcing me to rethink all the things I think I have to do for Christmas to be perfect. I know I can no longer bake 12 different kinds of cookies, breads, rolls, cakes, and pies. I am supposed to cut back, and take care of myself.

Dear Lord help me to be grateful for everything I am still able to do, help me to accept my limitations , do what I still can do with joy.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

1 down 2 to go

Today, on the Feast of St. Lucy, my sweet Alexandra Rose celebrated her first birthday. We had a family party, with lots of food, and lots of fun. Nicole really worked so hard to help me get ready for this party, but even with her heroic efforts, I was way behind schedule. Tiffiany came over to check on our progress, and really pitched in.


I was so tired, I didn't feel well today with my autoimmune stuff misbehaving, I was having trouble getting things done. In fact there are things on my list, I just never got to. I think she had a very nice party. Her cake was really cute, the food tasted great, and she really enjoyed opening her gifts.


Christian liked her little car really well, and there were a few arguments over it. We finally brought his tricycle in and let him ride it. He makes a loop through the downstairs

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Crazy cars in Tuckerville

We have had a crazy couple of days here in Tuckerville. I know I say that all the time, but what else do you call it when you have the van in drive, and stop at the stop sign minding your own business, and when you step on the accelerator it goes in reverse. That happened twice on the way home from the Dr. Friday afternoon amongst other tantrums the van decided to throw.

To set all this excitement up , Wed. night, I made the innocent comment, I was recovering from my pneumonia, Ashley was out of the wheel chair, and the little boys were doing well. We would be able to go to Mass on Sunday, for the first time in 2 months.

Thurs. night the 15 passenger vans alternator went out. Ben barely made it home from work, he coasted the last bit to get here. Friday the little van went insane. I thought we had demonic possession, and was about to break out the Holy Water, but Ben said it was the transmission. I am still not convinced.

I am serious, mention church, and both vans break down within 24 hours. I didn't get to go to Mass on Sunday. I find it so frustrating. I need that time with the Lord, I need my soul to be refreshed so desperately, and the craziest things keep happening.

Today, I cautiously drove the crazy van down to the school, because Alexandra broke the phone, and Andrew didn't recharge his. It drove terrible, but at least we were going forward. It wouldn't start when I tried to come home and Ben had to borrow Andrews' car to come rescue me in town. I tried to warn him about the van, but he took off to H'ville to run his errands, and made it about 5 miles before the van went berserk. He finally made it home and the van took its last gasp and blew up in the drive. He walked in the house and said well thats it the van just went to hell and gone. I said what do you mean? He said , it's over, it's dead, it blew up in the drive. It didn't even have the good grace to make around back to the parking lot of dead cars, it's right out front where everybody can see it's dead. I started laughing, I mean what else can you do at this point.

We have 3 cars, and none of them run. Ben borrowed Andrews' car went back to town,bought the alternator, and a few groceries. Stopped by and got his buddy jeremy and proceeded to work on vehicles in 32 degree weather. I am pleased to report, that the 15 passenger van , and Andrews' old cougar are now running. Just to be on the safe side tomorrow I am breaking out the Holy Water and dousing both of them. It couldn't hurt.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

4-H

There is nothing quite like 4-H in small town Oklahoma. I have 2 daughters in sr. 4-h, and 2 sons, in jr. 4-h. Friday night was our 4-H talent show and bake auction. Each child is supposed to bring 2 items. That is 8 items for this crazy mama.

I did what any mother of 9 would do, I cheated. 2 plates of coconut macaroons, 2 boxes of chocolate chip cookies, and 2 snowmen cakes. I know if you do the math that only comes to 6 items,but that was enough.

I found out a few days before the show that I was responsible for the grinch aka santa costume. Now the 4-h leader said here is a quick and easy way to make a santa suit. It took 3 stops to find a red sweatshirt that was santa red, not sooner red. Walmart had been sold out of the quick and easy santa trim since october. To my shock and horror, I would have to sew the trim on.

I don't sew very often, in fact Grandmas' sewing machine doesn't work. I got out the measuring tape, and couldn't find the fabric marker, so I grabbed a crayon. I couldn't find any straight pins at all so with my needle and measuring tape, I made measurements and cut the front open. then I sewed by hand all the stinking rotten grinchy trim all over the costume. If I say so myself it turned out awesome. Connor the Grinchy Santa looked great. The 4-H skit went well even if Jonathan hid on stage.

Ashley sang Rainbow for sr. 4-H and Nicole was in a black light pantomine to who am I . It is posted on youtube under God in School. Check them out. Connor and Jon were also in a dance skit. One of the younger girls got stage fright, and was singing a difficult song, so Ashley and her sister stood with her and sang in her ear without a mic to keep her on key.

It was a great night for 4-H . In these difficult financial times, over 1500.00 was raised at the bake auction. That is an amazing amount of money raised in a very small community. It really speaks to the value we place on 4-H.

We still salute the flag, we still believe in God, we still say Merry Christmas, and we all say the 4-H pledge. For my club, my community, my country, and my world.

Monday, December 1, 2008

still waiting

I have always waited up for the boys to come home. From away games, dates, work, friends homes. I have not adjusted well to Kyle moving out. I have the little ones down, the house is quiet,and I can't go to bed, I can't sleep. I am still waiting for Kyle to come home. Everyone has been in bed for hours, and I just sit here waiting for someone who isn't coming home. I even think I am crazy. I see him for a few minutes it seems , every couple of days,but it isn't like he is home. It feels like he is just waiting , biding his time to leave again. And crazy, grieving me, I am still waiting for him to come home.

1 down 2 to go

Sunday, November 1 was so many things. The feast day of St. Andrew my eldest sons name saint. The first Sunday of Advent, and like most devout Catholic mothers of 9, I can't find the blinking wreath anywhere. I got in the closet for a game of hide and go peek, but nothing doing.

I may claim I lost it ,and just make a new one. That would probably be the easiest, and quickest solution.

The most momentous event at our house anyway, was Christian Josephs' third birthday. We celebrated with a circus themed party, the family, close friends, and of course his godparents. Indiana calls them jinginifngg and gingidndkd its in portuguese for anyone who thought I just couldn't spell it. I can't even say it.

Andrew decorated his cake with a spiderman on it. He did a great job. Dad steamed hot dogs in the roaster, it turned out really well. We played silly party games, because it was so darn(oops) cold out there. There were snow flurries south of town,and the wind was blowing like it only can in Oklahoma. All in all my sweet prince was most satisfied with his party, and all his gifts. He did miss Kyle though. Kyle works at Walmart and we won't be seeing much of him for a while.

You thought I was just rambling, that I forgot the whole point of this posting, well your'e wrong.

I often accuse myself, just like in confession of having completely lost my mind because no one but an insane person would have 3 children between Thanksgiving and Christmas, cook both Holiday dinners, plus Christmas Eve Repast and have 3 birthday parties too. Yep, you have found one crazy Mama. We have Christian 11/30, Alexandra 12/13, and Nicole 12/21. Pray for me she wants a slumber party with teenagers and everything. I keep saying stay strong say No. If I survive this year , I may never drink champagne again. i think that is how I got in this predicament in the first place.

thanksgiving

Yes, the crazy woman can cook. Thank you very much. I mean come on,I feed a small army on a regular basis. We made Turkey of course with corn bread DRESSING 'cause we don't stick it in anything. Andrew made mashed potatoes with Dad on peeling duty. Tiffiany made the corn and Nicole the green beans. We almost forgot the rolls, but I tossed them in the oven, no harm done. I don't remember who made the gravy, probably Nick, but I know it wasn't me.

We ate lots of food, lots of pie, the kids ate all the whipped cream,and all the cinnamon bread.

In attendance for the festivities Benjamin, Andrew &Tiffiany, kyle & Timmi, Ashley,Nicole,Connor,Jonathan,Sean, Christian, Alexandra & Me. Not to be overlooked, our dear James Henry. He ate Thanksgiving early at his Grandmothers with about 30 kinfolk, so to round out his holiday, he said he'd better come eat some with his white family. He said he had a real Thanksgiving sharing the food and fun with his own family, and his adopted one.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

thankful

I have been trying to focus on all the good things in my life, and the many things I have to be thankful for. I know a list like this could go on, and on, but here are a few.
1.Dear husband still has a good paying job.
2.Dear husband loves me.
3.A wonderful, beautiful, slightly over the top family.
4.Andrew,Kyle,Ashley,Nicole,Connor,Jonathan,Luke(rip),Christopher(rip),Sean Patrick,Maria(rip),Christian,Alexandra
5.Tiffiany and Timmi
6.Mom and Dad
7.Granny and Papaw whose wonderful example of faith and service kept my feet on the right path.
8.I am able to stay home with the slightly wacky children.
9.Good friends and prayer partners
10. Holy Priests and Nuns.

baking day

Today was baking day, and like every other day in Tuckerville, it did not go smoothly, or as planned. I was up from 3:00am on with Alexandra, and then at 5:00 Ashley came in hunting her pain meds, she couldn't sleep. I went back to bed at 7:45. I hid there until the children dragged me kicking and screaming out of bed. Thank heavens it was Daddys' day off, and he cooked breakfast for the wild horde of hungry children.

I started baking about noon. Only 4 hours behind schedule. I had the 2 pumpkin pies done, and the 2 pecan pies in the oven , when I discovered my loaf pan was at Billie Jos'. Ashley drove me to her house to pick up my pan. I started assembling the ingredients for pumpkin bread, when I discovered the canned pumpkin, was pumpkin pie mix. You cannot make pumpkin bread out of pumpkin pie mix. Horrors!!!!! Plan B pumpkin muffins in the morning, if Ashley is up to making them.

Next, I made 2 loaves of cinnamon bread, then I began assembling the ingredients for an apricot preserve breakfast bar recipe I read on Pioneer Woman Cooks. Are you kidding, I cannot find the apricot preserves, I hunted high, low and in between. there were no apricot preserves. I raided the refridgerator, and found strawberry preserves. We will be having strawberry preserve breakfast bars, and no one will be the wiser.

Ashley and Jon did not make the chocolate pudding non-pie,and we forgot all about the jello. I guess we will see what tomorrow brings.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

cooking countdown

Tomorrow is baking day. Everyone wants to be in the kitchen to help bake, dishes anyone, anyone? We are going to bake 2 loaves of pumpkin bread, and 2 loaves of cinnamon bread for Thankgiving breakfast.

Next, on the agenda is 2 pumpkin pies, and 2 pecan. 1 chocolate pudding pie for Jonathan who hates all pies. Pudding isn't real pie, just ask Jon. We will also make the amazing jello salad, and mix up the cornbread dressing.

I plan to follow this up by taking a nap while dear Benjamin cooks supper. He has cooked the last 2 nights so I can rest. I think he loves me. I feel like a nut, but lately I have had my pajamas on by 6:00, and I just lay down as life lets me.

I really need some soft furry slippers. The scuff kind please, not the enormous dog heads you bought me last year. Iwas so relieved when Maggie and Otto attacked them, and ran off with them.

The house is quiet, everyone is asleep, and I am off to bed.

crazy in tuckerville

As the mother of 9, I often think, I am well prepared to go with the flow,roll with the punches, and take life one day at a time. Obviously, I was mistaken. I haven't blogged in 2 weeks, because life has enveloped me, overrun my position, and I have surrendered.

Ashleys' recovery has been slow going. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzone step forward, and 2 steps back. She is so frustrated. The little boys had their circumcissions for different reasons,on the same day. Nov.14,because misery loves company. They are finally about healed. It has been no fun around here for anyone.

To really make things interesting, the stress, and lack of sleep has flared up my auto-immune crap oops disease. Alexandra has had 2 ear infections and is cutting 4 teeth, and I almost forgot, I have pneumonia.

Dr. B. was a bit annoyed, I waited so long to come in, but Icouldn't leave the house ,and didn't go to the Dr. until Ben and Andrew flat out insisted, and took me. I was too sick to argue anymore, and too weak to stand up.

In the middle of all this illness, ewcitement, stress,tempers were flaring. We were overworked,exhausted,and just plain irritable. Ben and Kyle had a somewhat heated discussion,and Kyle decided he could no longer live at home.

In the midst of all this upheavel and illness, my son packed his things, and moved out the same afternoon. I was completely heartsick, and heartbroken. I just couldn't accept that my son, my very dear son would leave like that. For 2 days I couldn't eat, I had nothing to say(miracle), I just grieved.

Kyle moved in with family friends, so I know he is in a good place, but for days I kept waiting for him to say Mama, I'm coming home, and he just hasn't. Andrew and Ashley say he isn't coming back, and he was just ready to be on his own. I think I am still grieving the abruptness of his leaving. I find myself still waiting up for him to come in from work, but he doesn't come.

He seems very happy with his living arrangement, and I hope it works out for him. He does call often, and I see him a couple of times a week,but this Mama is having a heck of a time adjusting.

I feel very drained lately. Physically and emotionally. The strength I usually draw on seems to have failed me. I do my daily readings, but somedays, I can't remember if I prayed or not. I told God I know I'm rambling , and you know my heart, please give me the strength I need. You and I both know, I am all out

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

screw loose

Ashley had her surgery on Monday morning as scheduled, and that was the only thing that went according to plan. Alexandra was still ill, and going 4 days with no sleep or rest triggered my awful, horrid, wretched, auto-immune what-ever. I was in horrendous shape, and terrible, constant pain.

Benjamin said I was in no condition to take the baby, and spend all day at the hospital, I needed to stay home and take care of myself. I argued, I cried, I rebelled against being told to do anything, even if it is with my interest at heart. I even plotted to have Bobbie Sue take me to the hospital after they left. In the end, I stayed home.

Ashley, went into surgery at 11:30a.m., by 1:30 Ben still hadn't called me, and I was wearing a hole in the floor. I called him and he said, you crazy woman she just went back a few minutes ago, everything is fine.....I yelled frantically it is 1:30, what time did they take her? He said crazy hysterical woman it is only 12:00...I shouted not in this time zone. I returned to praying, scrubbing toliets,and walking the floor.

Ben called at 2:45, surgery did not go as planned, they were unable to back the screw out, because bone had grown through it. It took 21/2 hours to dig the screw out of her hip. So much for a quick easy procedure. Her bone was in much worse condition than they even realised,and we are going to discuss other surgical options besides total hip replacement as options for her future.

Dear sweet girl, sat straight up in recovery and began screaming,and crying. The first injection of morphine did nothing, the nurse finally got ahold of the dr. he gave her a cocktail of meds to get her pain under control,even considering an epidural as an option. By 7:00 p.m. she could keep oral pain meds down, but felt very sick, 2 hours later she came home.

The I hate the world stomach took over on the way home. She began getting really sick and vomiting. After arriving home , she vomited every 15 minutes or so for the next 12 hours. Her discharge orders left me no phone number for after hours, and I couldn't reach a human being to save my life. This morning I spoke to her surgeons nurse, she called the resident on duty, and we took her to the e.r. in the next town.

2 bags of fluids, i.m. phenergan, and tordal, my girl looks and feels a whole lot better. I am beginning to calm down. The words frantic,stressed, and angry come to mind.

Ashley brought her screw home. It is about 4 inches long, I think we should frame it. I told her next time someone told her she had a screw loose, she should say yep. I've got it right here!!!!!

As for me, I'm supposed to be praying, not harrassing my husband on his cell phone, and screaming at the ceiling, it wasn't one of my finest moments.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

decorating

Nicole has asked to redecorate her room. I painted her room in 1995, while I was very pregnant with her, so I guess it is time. She is addicted to HGTV, and loves decorating shows. She has decided on a French Country theme for her room and a color scheme of ivory, black, gold and deep red.

Granny recently gave me my princess bed from when I was a little girl. Granny and Papaw found the bed in the foothills in Northern California when I was a little girl. It was in an old shepherds cottage under a bunch of debris. They took it home, and cleaned up the iron bed, and painted it gold. I called it my princess bed.

Ben spray painted the bed black, and then I took a gold leafing pen, and went over all the intricate details of the bed with it. the results are amazing. It looks so beautiful.

2 cans black spray paint 4.00
1 gold leafing pen 3.87
1 ivory garage sale bedspread .25cents
1ancient iron princess bed with love from Granny & Papaw priceless.

I have a lot of work to do still, paint the room a neutral color, put in wood/laminate flooring,add funky french phrases to her walls, draw the eiffel tower. For today though, she's satisfied.

James Henry

I am very disappointed tonight. Tonight is our final home football game, and Senior Night. James Henry, my dear son from another Mother, is playing his last home game,and receiving his Senior Night recognition. I had promised James Henry all season I would be there for him, and I wasn't.

Alexandra has been ill all day, and this evening her fever hit 101f. I was unable to take her, and unable to leave her.

James holds a very special place in my heart. Every time he hits the door, he yells Mama, I'm home! He says he likes the noise and craziness of our home. He also likes that someone is always in trouble, and usually it isn't him.

James went on vacation with us this summer, and spent a week with us at a Lake House in Eastern Okla. He took Connor fishing every single day, and they had a great time together. He cheats terribly at scrabble. He always tries to use words in Seminole when he knows I can't spell check him.

My birthday didn't go as planned(like anything in my life does), and when I got home from Mass Sunday morning , James came in the kitchen, made my coffee, and cooked me a birthday breakfast of ham and cheese scrambled eggs and toast. He along with the other children made me homemade cards his said I love you Mama , your favorite indian son James Henry.

Everyone should have a special child in their life,and I know you don't have to give birth to a child to love them like your own.

Congratulations James Henry, I am proud of you.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

scattered

I haven't posted as regularly as I would have liked to, but things have been very strange. I am really having a hard time coping with this auto-immune disease. The soul sucking fatigue and extreme pain make me a very grouchy girl in the evenings.

I am trying to pace myself and cut back as Dr. B ordered, but it is almost impossible. I having a teething 10 month old that may sleep 5or 6 hours at a time or 2. I have to do 4-6 loads of laundry daily or my life descends into a swirling pit of laundry hell.

I have not found the balance I need to maintain my home and my health. This week, I have spiraled, and I am having trouble walking. I know God will give me the grace sufficient for today,and thats where I have to keep my focus. Today.

I have been so upset and stressed lately, all no-nos', but life is what it is.

My brother had a blood clot in his brain that burst Friday night. He had brain surgery, and is in a life battle trying to recover from this devastating incident. He is off the ventilator,(praise God),and breathing on his own. He recognizes people, but speech is still difficult for him. He thinks it's 1988, and keeps asking for me. I had 1 child in 1988, and was 20 years younger, I am afraid he wouldn't recognise me.

I have known for weeks, that Ashley needs surgery to remove the screw in her hip. when Nicole fell on her it perforated the bone completely,and has caused severe pain. The hospital called today to tell us surgery is Monday morning. I should be excited, relieved,but I am terrified.

I have had to keep my game face on and I find it so hard to keep it up. I have to be positive for her sake, but her asthma has been flaring up, and lets face it nothing has ever been easy or by the book where Ashley is concerned. She is my delicate flower.

For her sake, and mine , I need to let the fear go, and place her in the hands of the blessed mother. We need the intercession of every Saint praying to God on my sweet daughters behalf.

voting

Yesterday, we held a party of sorts. I baked a cake, and decorated it like a ballot, and Daddy bought ice cream and all the goodies for banana splits. I kept the television off until around 8:00p.m., and then we began to watch the returns as we ate our treats.

Lets suffice it to say, it did not go as we had hoped, but I still feel like a winner. All of my children from Sean Patrick up to Andrew have been involved in conversations about candidates, issues, and voting. It was a very proud day for me as my 2 oldest sons Andrew20, and Kyle 18 voted in their first presidential election. Tiffiany also voted .

I would have preferred John McCain to win, but we all voted, so I feel we won.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween

Halloween is very strange here. Where I grew up, Halloween was on Halloween. Here it is on the night announced as Halloween. Last night, Oct. 30, was our officially sanctioned trick-or-treat.

We left early to get to Grandma Wandas' for our yearly popcorn balls. She made 80 of them this year. Next, we went to the fire station for a goody bag, and a photo op with Billie Jo. We headed for We-town, and went to the fall festival at New Life Church. The children take music lessons there, and have a lot of friends in the community.

They played lots of games, won oodles and gobs of candy, had their hair spray painted, their pictures taken, raced tri-cycles, and bounced on the jumbo bounce. After an hour and a half , this chick had, had it, and I began the monumental task of rounding up the troops.

Some 20 minutes later, with 7 children in tow, I made my way to the van, and collapsed in my seat, only one more stop. We went by Bobbie Sue's to see Kyli in her costume, and get more of the dreaded candy.

Today, the real Halloween was much calmer. Daddy brought home chinese food, I made alien/ghost cookies, and choc. covered pretzels. The children carved a pumpkin, and we roasted pumpkin seeds. Later everyone, and I mean everyone, dog-piled on my bed to watch my favorite Halloween movie, Young Frankenstein.

This year the gang dressed up as Nicole-Daisy Duke, Connor-baseball player zombie, Jonathan-zombie victim, Sean Patrick-spiderman, Christian-batman, Alexandra-tinker-bell. All the costumes were either home-made, or recyled. The tinker-bell costume, I purchased 16 years ago for Ashley.

game over

Connor played his last football game of the season Sat. night. Fortunately, it was in a neighboring town, so our drive time was only 25 minutes. It was a beautiful night for football, and the boys played a great game.

We-town beat Holdenville, 24-6. Connor made a couple of great tackles, and the announcer said great job by #32, and he turned around and flashed a 3, and the announcer said make that a great job by #33 Connor Tucker. He was so proud.

Connor had a large cheering section again, he was very proud Kyle & Timmi made his game. As much as I love football, I am not sorry for the season to be over. Practice 3 nights a week, and a game every Saturday is very time consuming. I would cheer about all our free time now, but basketball season started last week, and will last until Feb.

I have 3 children on 3 seperate basketball teams. Jonathan plays on the 3-4th team, Connor plays on the 5-6th team, and Nicole plays for jr. high. I think it's going to be a busy winter.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

life

I have given a lot of thought and prayer to the upcoming presidential election, and I have decided to support the McCain/Palin ticket. I am not a political person, but I do follow politics,and believe every citizen has an obligation to vote.

There are several issues, that weigh upon my mind. The economy, national security issues, the iraq war, gas prices, to name but a few things. In the end, it all comes down to one thing,life.

Choose life, the bible tells us, whatsoever, you do to the least of my people, so you do unto me. As the mother of 9 living children, and with 3 little lost ones waiting for me in heaven, life is so precious to me. I think every life has value and meaning.

Who are we to determine who will live or die, and whose life has meaning. Does anyone other than God have the right or ability to make a judgement on life. Does your life have value? Does mine? As I sit here in the middle of the night typing with one hand, and nursing my 10 month old daughter, I am struck once again with the wonder and beauty of her fragile life.

She is completely dependent on me, and the choices Imake for her care. Who decides her value and worth, the world , ajudge?

As for me, Ican only say she is priceless.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

fall break

Whoever said fall break was a break. A break from what exactly? The little boys have been wild,crazy, no insane, from all the excitement of fall break. I have even entertained the idea of tying them all to the tree, but I couldn't think of a good reason to do it.

It has been a hectic break. Nicole was gone to leadership conference from wed. to fri. I gave my talk at 4-H wed. afternoon. Ashley babysat on fri. night, and sat. morning Connor,and Jonathan had to be at the school early to decorate their float for Heritage day and ride in the parade.

That same morning Kyle took my car to work, and left me stranded. I had to make arrangements for other people to pick up the boys, I missed seeing their float and watching the parade. I was quite annoyed.

Sat. night Kyle came in from work with a temp of 101. I missed Connors' football game because someone had my car, and he came home with a headache, and fell asleep in his football uniform.

Sun. morning, I got up for church. Kyle had a temp. of 101, Connor was still sick and slept until 1:00p.m., Ashley was sick, Christian was sick, and I am flat tired.

We ended up in the emergency room with Kyle when his temp. spiked over 103.4 He couldn't stand or walk with-out help, and he just held his head and moaned. He has the flu, and 2 ear infections, he was also dehydrated.

Connor has come downstairs crying with his head twice. This looks like the beginning of a very long week. On a happy note it is only 2:00a.m. , Chrissy darlin' who napped 4 hours today, has finally given up and gone to sleep. I think i'll turn off pillow talk, and join him in the land of winkin' blinkin' and nod.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

clutter

I have come up with a semi sort of plan to make up for my insane behaviour at the yard sale. As I have emptied the boxes, and put items away. I began hunting for unloved, or unwanted items to refill the boxes, and take them straight to the van, out of temptations way.

The whole box of jars she made me buy in order to get the glass baby bottles and blue Atlas jar, I am sending to the Jesus House as soon as I can finish filling the box. The 5 old painted dishes I bought for .50cents, well I think I can live without 1 or 2 of them , so they are going in the box too. I don't have to keep all the extra things, what a relief.

My box of baby dolls , need to be cleaned up. Some are pretty dirty. One little girl is called a dimples doll from 1968. I think I have found her original clothes. They need to be washed and ironed(groan),but I am putting her in Alexandras' room.

I am still trying to find the right spot to display my cookie jars/crocks. The colors don't look quite right when next to my apple red walls. I think the buffet in the dining area may work better. The earth tones should be happier next to the oak of the buffet. I can put my ivory ironstone soup tureens away for awhile.

I bought a beautiful frosted vase with gold trim and an ivory bedspread for Nicoles room and paid a total of .75 cents for the 2 items. She wants a french country look , and I am painting my iron bed black , and highlighting the floral details with a gold leafing pen. I think it will be really beautiful when finished.

Perhaps if I cleaned 90% of the stuff out of Nicoles' room, that would even out all the stuff I brought home.

Friday, October 17, 2008

open mouth, insert foot

A few weeks ago, I called Miss Sandy, the boys 4-H leader to see if she had found a veteran to come speak to the children regarding service and citizenship. She had found no suckers, oops volunteers. I mentioned I had a few items I could bring to share with the children, and before you could say jimminy cricket, I was the guest speaker.

I took a variety of items to the meeting, and set up my display on a red tablecloth. I had my Dads' purple heart, and a photo of him in Korea. Bens' Dads photo album from the pacific theater, patches from his uniform, a picture of him right out of basic training, a photo of his unit, and the flag from his coffin. I took several Uncle Sam hats, and a collection of miniature flags. I also made a poster listing the U.S. war casualties for every war since the Civil War to date.

I shared some of their war experiences,and some of their life experiences too. They were really affected by my Papas' story. He was born here in our small town, and was a sophomore in high school the day Pearl Harbor was bombed. He enlisted the next day in the navy. I asked how many knew a 10th grader , or a 17 year old boy? They all raised their hands. I read them the interview I conducted with Papaw when I was in high school. They all laughed, and some even cried, it was a really special time.

I told them what my Daddy told me, the day he gave me his purple heart. He said do you know why I received this medal? I answered, yes Daddy, you got shot. He said thats true, but I paid for something that day. I asked what he meant, and he said, I paid for your freedom with my blood, don't you ever forget that. Someone in uniform paid for our freedom, with their blood.

I have never forgotten it Daddy, and I never will. I love you.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

oops

For the past several months, I have been cleaning out drawers,closets, cupboards trying to remove the clutter from our lives. I have a long way to go, but I keep telling myself is it important? Does it bring you joy? Do you really Use/wear it? I have spent months trying to convince Nicole she does not need 500shirts, when she only wears 100 of them.

My good intentions have all gone to hell in a handbasket (it was such a cute basket though). If I bought new outfits , or items for the home , I donated my extras to the Jesus House. Now what am I going to do. I have completely lost my mind.

My dear neighbor Rosemary is having her yearly yard sale with Quitta, now, I know this doesn't sound like a crisis , but it is. Rosemary finds, rescues, reclaims, the best junk beautiful things ever, and she knows my weaknesses.

In 2 days we have spent 114.00$ all my mad money, and I brought home 2 van loads of stuff. I bought an antique baking cabinet for$5.00, be still my heart. I did buy a few christmas gifts, but most items were for our home. I bought a new bedspread for Ashley for $2.50, I bought 5 cookiejars(I know, but I only spent $15.00) I bought halloween decorations, an entire box of really cute things for $1.00. The most expensive items were $5.00, so you can imagine how much we brought home. I have had so much fun playing with these items, rearranging displays, I got the biggest kick out of a teapot I only paid $1.00 for it has 2 little girls on an ironstone type pot.

My dear friend wouldn't let me buy 2 old sad dollies, no I had to buy the entire box for the whopping price of $2.00. Then she wouldn't let me buy just the 2 dresses I wanted , but made me take the box, for the exorbitant price of $1.00. That's right, I spent all that money , just a few dollars at a time , no big ticket items.

Now I have to really step up my declutter work, and find oh about 100 items, and give them away. I wonder if I have to give away item per item , or say item per price. I got 5 hats for a quarter, so do I have to give away 5 items or 1 for the sale?

I truly love the antique doll carriage, I am putting it on Alexandras' dresser with rescued baby dolls in it, when she is a little older , I am going to put up the pink ironing board with iron. It will look so cute in her room. The carriage and stroller are too fragile for playing, but they will look great on display.

Rosemary called, she is taking more items down to the sale in the morning, and wanted to know if I wanted to see them first. Drat that Rosie , she knows me too well. I am a sucker for old jars, quilts, worn junk, gently loved things from the past, and old baby dolls that need a good home.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

alexandra

My little Rosie flower is 10 months old. This year is flying by, she is in such a hurry to do everything. She seems to be picking up new words so quickly, my favorite is Mama. She reaches for whoever takes her fancy, and yells quite loud if they do not take her quick enough.

She is taking her first tentative steps. She will cruise the furniture, or hold a hand and walk around. She has even taken 1or 2 steps , before she remembers she is walking, and sits down to crawl.

She has grown so much, from that tiny bundle placed in my arms last December. She is 22lbs, and tall too. She has her 2 bottom teeth, and more on the way. Her hair is thick and dark,like my Mothers' and her eyes are dark brown. I think she is beautiful.

I love how soft her skin is, how sweet she smells, how she holds my hand as she nurses. I love when she reaches for me(even at 3:00a.m.) She is a joy and a blessing. I want to enjoy every moment with her.

I know from experience babies grow up so fast, and in the blink of an eye my baby won't be a baby any longer.

Monday, October 13, 2008

parent-teacher conferences

Oh , how I hate parent-teacher conferences. This year, I have 5 students enrolled in school. Thank the good lord I don't have to go to conferences for the 2 in college. I spent an hour and a half talking to multiple teachers, regarding my many students.

Sean Patrick is doing really well in kindergarten, he is so smart . He just needs to work on those fine motor skills and wiggling!!!!!! say it ain't so.....

Jonathan has amazing grades, he is very polite and well behaved. He has beautiful penmanship. Will someone please tell me who I live with? I think his twin lives with me. On the other hand, if he is only perfect half the time , I guess it's best he is perfect in public.

Connor had good grades, but needs some tutoring in math. He is having trouble with some of the new math concepts. It is so funny, he has the same teacher in 6th grade that he had in pre-k. She said he is as sweet as ever, but now he gets so much attention from the girls, he thinks he is a really cool football player, and all the girls love him.

Nicole is excelling in everything , because Nicole excels at everything. She is so type a . She wants to do everything she does perfectly. She has talent and drive. She is my 4th child, and she wants to outdo everyone ahead of her.

I met with several of Ashleys' teachers, but there is still no viable plan in the works. She had all A's when she was reinjured, now she has lots of 0's on the books, and no one knows what to do to help the situation. The school has been unable to find a tutor to come to the house to help her every week, the teachers have sent some work. It is a big mess.

I had planned to get ahold of the one person who has not been very helpful in this stressful situation, but she was in a meeting when I got to her office. Ashley was relieved. I had my mombat boots on, and I was in the mood to kick some butts, and take some names. It was a bit anit-climatic, it never hurts to put the fear of God into the school officials, and I am just the MOM to do it.

go Sak-town

We have had so much excitement in our little podunk town. Our girls fastpitch soft-ball team has been undefeated. They won the district tournament, then last week, our little school hosted the regional tournament. They won that too!!!Just awesome!!!!

We did not have school on Thurs. as our girls began playing in the state tournament. The girls rode up in a Hummer Limo with the majority of the town following. They won game 1 5-1, they won game 2 , 10-0, and Saturday night, at the Soft ball hall of fame in OKC , for the first time ever they beat the defending champs 2-0.

It was so exciting, and emotional for the hometown folks. Instead of the screaming and cheering that followed the first two wins, the Sak-town fans wept tears of joy.

What made it so special to me, was the fact that many of the fans had in their youth donned the Sak-town uniform , to play the game, life always comes full circle.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Jonny blue eyes

My 9 year old son Jonathan is a chronic pain in the butt, I mean sweet, obedient child. He has a crazy temper, and takes himself very seriously. Whatever you do, do not laugh at this child.


I have such a crazy sense of humor, and he is so intense!!!!!! He has no sense of humor. Like the time we were at the Dr.s office, and he had to have a shot. He started howling at the top of his lungs. This was before the nurse was in the room. The louder he howled the harder I laughed, it was terrible.


He spent the night at his friends last night, and was trying every trick in the book to stay again, but there is school tomorrow, and I wasn't buying his 25 reasons not to come home.


Here are my 25 reasons to come home listed in order

1.Because I said so. Any other questions.


To really mess up his night, I reminded him the trash does not take out itself, and was waiting for him to get over himself. Could his night get any worse? You bet, the awful dreaded bath time. Jonathan believes water is for playing in or marching in and out of . He does not believe in soap or shampo. I was tired and did not give him the usual bath time litany. It goes like this. Take off your clothes, put them down the laundry chute, Turn on the water, get in the bath . Use soap and wash your body, rinse your body, wash your hair with shampoo, rinse your hair . Get out of the bath , dry off(very important step) put your pajamas on.


He came downstairs with dry hair, pajamas stuck to his body,and when I called him over to see if he smelled clean he turned around and ran upstairs crying to take another bath.


I guess he wasn't going to pass the sniff test.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

hearts

It is quite an adjustment having adult children. They just don't buy, because I said so anymore. Kyle turned 18 in March, and we have clashed ever since. Do your chores, be on time, curfew is still enforced. It just seems to go on and on.

We had words regarding curfew, homework, chores, etc. He left for work angry and upset. I stayed home angry and upset. He came home from work, and said, Mom I brought you a present . As the savvy mother of 9, my first response was it's not alive is it. I don't want any presents that are alive (Kyle is always rescuing things). Hold out your hands Mom , he said.

I put out my hands, and he placed a small black box in it. Inside was a small gold heart, inside it said Mom. Kyle said I'm sorry we haven't been getting along lately. I don't mean to fight with you. I heart you Mom, and I love you.

I think we're going to be just fine, and I heart you right back Kyle.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

home game

Tonight was our last home game of the season . The high school stadium at We-town was packed for our boys. Connors' cheering section was out in force again . He had 15 supporters cheering for him. He made some good plays, all the boys did, but the other team was better tonight and won 16-8.

One of the Moms' had on a t-shirt that said We-town, theres no little in this league. I thought it was pretty funny. They played "Back in Black " as the team ran out tonight. Out here football is very serious.

Connors' next game is about 60 miles away. I am not looking forward to the next 4 games away. At the final buzzer, all the fans stood up and cheered for the boys. It was a great small town memory.

The wonderful crisp fall air, the smell of hot dogs and chili and of course little league football, what a great way to spend a Saturday evening with your family.

I wonder if they have football moms for Palin t-shirts?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Benjamin

I looked at my husband yesterday, and saw something that surprised me. I am so used to seeing him, I look at him everyday. This time he looked, just like the day before. An attractive man, more gray in his hair now,than a year ago. Not as thin as he used to be, well trimmed goatee. Then, I saw something more, I saw someone looking back at me, someone I hadn't noticed in awhile. The boy I fell in love with 28 years ago. The same eyes, the same mischievous smile, the same devil-may-care attitude.

I felt my heart soften. Why don't I see him more often? I have laughed, loved, and fought with this man all of my adult life. I need to remember to see him. Really see him. The man who adores me, thinks I am still sexy and beautiful even when I don't. Swears he likes curves on a woman, which is a very smart thing to say to a very sassy wife, that has been pregnant 11 times, and is still carrying 15lbs of babyfat from the birth of Miss Alexandra.

I fell in love with you when I was 14. I have never loved anyone but you, and I never will. I am proud to be your wife, and the mother of all these crazy I mean sweet children. I will try to be the sweet June Cleaver kind of wife once in a while, instead of the sassy brat .

Remember that sappy song from the 80's "Glory of Love" you owe me dinner,and a dance. I owe you an apology as usual.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A new patron saint

Dear Fr. Matthew called to check on me today. He said he was feeling a bit concerned, and wanted to check in. He asked had I heard back from the Dr. about all my lab work, how was I feeling?

Well, the labwork came back showing I have an auto-immune disease. My Dr. doesn't know what it is , and is referring me to a rheumatoligist. I have been trying to stay positive,but today was just a bad day. No sleep, lots of pain, and then the last straw of finding out I won't be able to get a Dr.s appt. until Jan. or Feb.. It just took the wind out of my sails.

I was so angry. I have so much to do everyday. I have a 2 year old, and 9month old at home, plus Ashley in the wheelchair again. I can't even lift her wheelchair right now. Everyday, I have littleones to feed, bathe, dress, diapers,pottytraining,cooking,cleaning, and I can barely move some mornings. It takes all Gods' grace to get me through the things I have to do, and there is always so much more that needs to be done.

Fr. Matthew said I think perhaps, you need a new patron saint. You may have completely worn yours out. After all, more things happen to you than anybody I have ever known. I asked if he had any suggestions. St. Margaret Mary and St. Lydia may be tired of such hard work all the time. Are there any saints out there that want to intercede for a wife, mother of 9 in this world, and 3 in heaven, a very hard worker, who spiritually wants to know, love, and serve God. Physically needs a little help and a lot of prayers. You saints mull it over and get back to me.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

crazy parents

I have often wondered if crazy football parents are born or, made. Nature vs. nurture pigskin style. Our motto is neither rain nor snow, nor distance, nor overtime will keep us from watching our children play.

Tonight was a homegame scheduled to start at 6:00p.m. . However, due to circumstances in earlier games, the boys didn't begin playing until 8:00p.m.. Keep in mind we had to be at the field at 5:00.p.m.. The weather was beautiful, and the stands were packed. Tiffiany had no idea so many people showed up to watch little kids play.

The boys won quite easily tonight. They have a record of 2-1 and tonights score was 24-6. Next week is our last home game, and we take to the road traveling obscene distances with cars full of children for pee-wee football. The announcer has a great sense of humor and announced that the Lyons club would be serving a pancake breakfast if we could hold on for about 25 minutes.

We may travel 60 to 100 miles for our distance games, and while I am the first to admit this is nuts, I'm still doing it. This is our 3rd son to go the pee-wee football route and , I can't believe we're starting over with this. We still have 3 more sons(maybe they'll take up golf or something). We could be doing this for 9 more years(sweet weeping Jesus on the cross).

When Kyle played high school football they traveled all over the dadgum state to places I never even heard of . Many games were played in border towns 3-4hours distance one way. Now I know they acclimated us to this craziness in their pee-wee days, and it just gets worse.

Connor made some great plays tonight , and was thrilled to have his own cheering section with Dad, Mama, Tiffiany, Ashley, Nicole, Jonathan, Sean Patrick, Christian, Alexandra, and his life-long favorite Billie Jo and her husband,and daughters.

You go Connor !! Tackle them, strip the ball , recover it . Love Mama

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Connor

Poor Connor, he has had such a time lately. First the spider bite, then the nasty staph infection, and to top it off , the stomach virus. It has been an unpleasant couple of weeks here in Tuckerville.

Connor is trying to adjust to 6th grade, and 3 different teachers. He has been very puzzled by the actions of his language teacher. Mrs. Sand has decided that the grammar of her students needs improvement. To encourage? her young charges she has given detention to anyone using colloquialisms or as I call it Grannyisms.

One poor boy spent an entire week in detention for saying ain't, the sad thing is he didn't know he was in detention for saying it. They just kept sending him over there. Where I live language is colorful , and full of expressions your grandparents might have used.

The list of forbidden words is long. It includes ain't , fixin' to, and done did. You must pronounce your g's at the end of each word, and for heavens sake do not use those inflamatory ejaculations such a sure nuff, cryin' out loud, or a whee down yonder.

I do understand the need for the children to speak proper english, it just takes all the fun out of the conversation, when dangit they done did can't say nothin' no more.

Kyle

Kyle had 4 wisdom teeth pulled on tuesday, and he is still not feeling well. He is so swollen, he doesn't know if we should call him chipmunk Kyle or Frankenkyle. He is a mess.

The pain rx makes him sleepy, and the steroids for the swelling (yeah sure) are turning him into a bear. He snarls and growls and goes right back to sleep.

Tonight he came in and asked me to drive him to school in the morning. He doesn't feel like driving the 30 miles for classes on no pain meds. I am going to try and bribe Andrew into taking him. I'll let him drive my car, and buy him McDonalds. That should do it.

Kyle is supposed to go back to work after classes and work an 8 hour shift. I just don't know if he can make it all day.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Bye-Bye Billy

After the attack of Billy the goat, I am still recovering from all the bruises I received from the crazy, psycho goat. I asked my dear neighbor Rosemary, and her husband Tim if they would take Billy to the goat sale, eleminating the need to shoot the unrepentant goat.

Tim and Rosemary are always helping me with something. I can't count how many times Tim has pulled me out of ditches when I've slid off the road or something. When my husband worked nights, I always knew they were just a phone call away.

One night the burglar alarm went off , and I was home alone with 5 children and pregnant. The alarm company asked if I wanted to go outside and check it out. No I did not . I couldn't even out run the bad man at that point. While I waited for the sheriff to show up , Tim and Rosemary came down checked the yard and out buildings. They were at my house almost 30 minutes before the county sheriff even showed up. I know who to call first.

Tim and Rosemary came down and caught the goat. He is going to spend a week or 2 visiting their nannies, and then off to the goat sale. Connor is excited about getting the money for his goat. He's thinking about raising nannies to show for 4-H. Good riddance.

Pay it Forward

A few days ago, I received an envelope in the mail. Something in the mail for me and , it wasn't a bill. It was a wooden primitive bluebird from Angie @ the American Homemaker blog. My dear daughter-in-law tried to take my bird home with her, but I think I will put it on the front porch with my fall display. I think it will look great with pumpkins and such.

There is a small catch to my prize, and my dilemma. I am supposed to pay it forward, and send 3 people a gift. Now , I am out here all alone in bloggyland. I don't have 3 people to send anything to. I pondered this today, and came up with my own solution.

We have 3 widows in our parish, and I will give each of them a card, and a small fall gift. When(if) I ever have 3 reader, I will pay it forward in bloggyland.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Chivalry is not dead

Fr. Matthew called today to check on me. I haven't seen him since he went to live at the Monastery in June. He has been a great blessing to me, and my whole family. He was our parish priest for 10 1/2 years. He baptised 4 babies, buried1, and married my oldest son. He has a dry sense of humor , stands just over 5 feet tall and is 86 years old.

His greatest fear in returning to the monastery was that they would take his car away. He was overjoyed to find a parking space with his name on it right in front. Age has its privliges.

He asked lots of questions, he wanted to know everything that had been happening in our lives lately. I gave him a complete run down . Including the family members that had been down with the dreaded stomach virus. Kyle, Andrew, Ben, Connor, Christian , and last but not least Alexandra who spent 2 days projectile vomiting. I think priests need a peek at large family life.

He told me "God must love you very much" . I said what are you talking about. He said things always happen to the people God loves very much , and something, everything is always happening to you!!!!! I couldn't argue with that one and soon our conversation turned to farm life.

He was raised on a poultry ranch , and likes to talk about the chickens, and hear my stories about the turkey thinking he's a rooster. I was explaing to him why I had been feeding, and putting the chickens up at night since it is Connors' job(The crazy chickens were roosting on my front porch ). I felt so sorry for him. First the staph infection in his arm, then the yucky stomach virus. After I put the chickens up Billy the goat went berserk!!!!! He thought I had food or scraps , and trapped me in an area without a stick, or a bat, or a gun. He was jumping and bucking , I had never seen him so crazy. He rammed me twice in the stomach. He hit me so hard, he knocked me up over a hedge, and into the gazebo about 5 feet. He broke the skin on my stomach and leg. I have welts and bruises everywhere. The children heard me screaming and ran to my rescue. I said get your Daddy, and tell him to bring the gun this time. He came out and chased his wretched goat away, but wouldn't shoot him.

Dear Fr. Matthew said that goat is a menace, and serves no useful purpose. If, I still lived down there I'd bring my gun over and take care of that goat. He said now my dear , you and the children lure that goat into the back pasture, and shoot it. It has become far to dangerous. And what will I tell the husband, that happens to like the goat? He said tell him bad news dear, I was shooting into the back pasture, and the goat ran into my bullet.

Mrs. Doodlebug


Nicole aka Mrs. Doodlebug has been so busy lately. She is my right hand. She bathes little ones, changes diapers, sweeps floors, helps with dishes, laundry. The unending lists of my life. She is a little mother to her younger siblings and a great help to me.

She is on the jr. high softball team, a member of student council, a member of 4-H, takes piano lessons, is an altar server at Mass, and helps her Mama everyday. She does everything exceptionally well.

Our dear neighbor Rosemary who always is rescuing things from the strangest places, found the most beautiful gown someone had thrown away. She washed and pressed it and gave this ivory satin and lace gown to Nicole. Nicole was thrilled, I was stunned at the transformation from little girl to young woman that is taking place. She looked absolutely beautiful in it. My husband told her she can't date until she's 30. Thank goodness she's only 12 , and we don't have to worry about that for a few years.

Nicole is a little bossy, but, she has 4 younger brothers, and a baby sister. She can be short-tempered, but, so can I. I think her very worst fault is .... she abolutely loves game shows.

New game shows, old game shows , any game show. Whammy, Beat the Clock, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune. You name she'll watch it. I didn't even know we had the game show network, all game shows , all the time. Game shows make my skin crawl. I hate game shows. I can't change channels fast enough, and she's trying to buy another vowel. Just answer this one Mom. Ugh!!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Is that a knot on your head, or can you spell concussion

The last few weeks have been non-stop craziness. A trip to the hospital 3 hours away for Grannys' heart procedure, A trip to the emergency room with Ashley, 3 trips to the Dr.s' office in 5 days, 5 trips to the pharmacy in the last 7 days, and just life.

My 2 year old has been very sick, and his behaviour has been TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!
I keep asking everyone who's child is this , and what happened to my sweet baby. I told my 16 year old daughter on the sneak that I think He's turned into the spawn of Satan, and she said well since your'e his mother , doesn't that make you Satan? She thinks she's so funny.

In a spawn of Satan moment my sweet baby pulled over a metal bathroom cabinet , and it, and the contents landed on my head. I only have a mild concussion. The Dr. says I'll be feeling my normal loopy self in no time. In the meantime , I am so crazy. My sentences don't come out right, I just feel strange, and my head hurts. I was looking for the car keys, and told Ashley, I can't find my shoes. So, she tells me theyr'e on your feet. And, I tell her not these shoes, the ones for the car. At that point , I decided driving to school was a bad idea.

It's not that the children don't laugh at me , because I am a bit eccentric, but this is ridiculous.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I love a parade

The weather has been so beautiful lately, with just a hint of fall in the air. I am so glad that double digit heat is over. This afternoon I decided to take sweet pea out for some fresh air. This is no easy feat as she now weighs 21lbs 7oz at only 9 months. We began our promenade down the sidewalk , and onto the circle drive, when we were joined by a screaming 2 year old who thought I was leaving him.

The next to join us was Otto the weiner dog, followed by Fifis' dog Tika. Our ranks were swelling. I looked back again, and we had been joined by 5 chickens, 3 kittens, Mr. Joshua the Turkey, and last but not least Billy the stinky goat.

I love a parade, but this was getting ridiculous. I turned back up the drive, and made the loop back to the house with the animals trailing all the way.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

prayer

My good neighbor Rosemary called Sunday to check on things, and I gave her the rundown. A houseful of sick children, Ashley back in her wheelchair, refridgerator dead. She said she'd ask her church to pray for Ashleys recovery. I said , if its not too much trouble can you pray about my fridge too? I felt a little weird asking a church to pray about my appliance problem.

If his eye is on the sparrow is this too much to ask about. Dear neighbor said no problem, people pray about appliances all the time. It's a very common request. I was a little surprised,but if its not insulting to the almighty I was in.

Monday, a friend from our parish called to see why I hadn't been at church, and I gave her the litany. She said, we are all family, why don't you let someone help you when things are so crazy?
Tell us what you need . I laughed at her and said, silly girl, a margarita, and a fridge would be nice. She made a few phone calls, Fr. Adrian , went to visit her Aunt and Uncle, and by Monday night I had a fridge.

I know , I know "ask , and ye shall receive, seek, and ye shall find" ... Just sign me up with old St.(doubting) Thomas.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Our Lady of Sorrows

Today is the feast day of Our Lady of Sorrows, she is very dear to me. 6 years ago Sept. 15,2002, was the due date of my 7th child. He died 17weeks into my pregnancy, and I still miss him. Luke Gabriel was born on April 9,2002. He had blond hair and blue eyes, all his fingers, and toes. He greatly resembled his brother, Jonathan.

God held me up during those terrible dark days after the loss of my child. I am glad to have carried this precious little one,even though he was not meant to know me in this world.

For years I was so sad he spent his brief life alone, and then one day I found the book "Angel in the Waters" it is the story of an unborn baby and his guardian angel keeping him company in the womb and counting the time until birth.

Thank you God for the gift of this book, and the realisation my dear son was never alone. For 6 years I have decorated Our Ladys' Altar in memory of my son, and the gift God gave back to me...I fainted on Sunday,Sept. 15,2002, it was on that bittersweet day I discovered we were blessed again and on April 30,2003 5 weeks early , Sean Patrick Charles was born.

Eternal Rest Grant unto them oh Lord, and may your perpetual light shine upon them, Amen.

Someday, I'm going to shoot that goat

To be completely fair, I just don't like Billy the goat. He is now on my hit list. Connor & Nicole went out to put away the turkey, and hens. They were tossing some watermelon rinds, and chicken feed into their house in order to coax them in, when Billy the bully decided he wanted some.

I heard the commotion and went out to help. The ladies were in an uproar, the turkeys' feathers were ruffled, and the children were running in fear of their lives. I picked up the biggest stick I could find, and went to save my babies. I whacked that goat on the head , which really ticked him off. He began bucking and twisting , so I whacked him again. Connor ran in one direction,and Nicole hid behing her Mama.

Stupid Billy goat came after us again, and wielding my stick like a baseball bat , I was ready to hit a home run , all the while yelling at Connor go and get Daddy, and tell him to bring the gun!!!!

Daddy did come out, he didn't bring the gun, in fact he thought it was hysterical. I told him and his crazy goat to consider themselves warned. That thing looks at me or my babies sideways, and he's history.

I have a gun, and I'll shoot that smelly sucker right between the eyes, and toss him over the fence for the buzzards. I mean seriously, he can't smell any worse dead than alive.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

sweet girl

It is so hard to watch a loved one suffer, struggle, endure. My sweet girl has been dealing with health issues her entire life, but one little slip, one fall, and everything is changed.
My daughter broke her hip 3 years ago, which was repaired by surgery. The bone however, did not recover, and she has limited mobility. Sweet girl has spent the last 3 years in and out of a wheelchair. Thursday afternoon, baby girl slipped and fell on top of her sister. She landed right on top of her fragile hip. She can't put any weight on it. She is unable to sit in her wheelchair for any length of time. She needs help to bathe, she is usually so stoic , she tries to hide her pain.
This time she can't . The simplest movements cause her to scream in agony
Her pain mskes me physically ill. I know the scriptures, I even have faith, but, the day to day reality of her pain, I just don't understand.
I have often heard the expression take up your cross. Is her suffering my cross?
Smiling, even laughing through tears is our normal. Will she ever walk again without pain?
I wish I was an optimist, one of those glass half full kind of girls, but I'm really not. I'll just pray for the grace to get through today.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

A day in my life

We all were looking forward to Saturday, the first game of peewee football, and in blows tropical storm Ike (I don't like Ike). Connor was so excited, first football game, first start, brandnew uniforms, and in came the rain. Tropical Storm rain isn't like your ordinairy rain. It rains forwards, and backwards, and sideways, even upside down. Sweet pea , Christian, and I retreated to the car during the 3 quarter as the rain blew up under my umbrella.
Rain should not blow up your umbrella!!! The hometeam won 14-0 and my wet, tired football player was thrilled.
We ate a gourmet dinner of fried chicken, mashed pot. and gravy. On top of all the weather, and football excitement, the refridgerator died today. We will hold services tomorrow when hubby and as many big boys as we can corral drag it out of the house. I am praying for a new,large capacity fridge on a very tight family of how many? budget.