crazy in tuckerville

As the mother of 9, I often think, I am well prepared to go with the flow,roll with the punches, and take life one day at a time. Obviously, I was mistaken. I haven't blogged in 2 weeks, because life has enveloped me, overrun my position, and I have surrendered.

Ashleys' recovery has been slow going. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzone step forward, and 2 steps back. She is so frustrated. The little boys had their circumcissions for different reasons,on the same day. Nov.14,because misery loves company. They are finally about healed. It has been no fun around here for anyone.

To really make things interesting, the stress, and lack of sleep has flared up my auto-immune crap oops disease. Alexandra has had 2 ear infections and is cutting 4 teeth, and I almost forgot, I have pneumonia.

Dr. B. was a bit annoyed, I waited so long to come in, but Icouldn't leave the house ,and didn't go to the Dr. until Ben and Andrew flat out insisted, and took me. I was too sick to argue anymore, and too weak to stand up.

In the middle of all this illness, ewcitement, stress,tempers were flaring. We were overworked,exhausted,and just plain irritable. Ben and Kyle had a somewhat heated discussion,and Kyle decided he could no longer live at home.

In the midst of all this upheavel and illness, my son packed his things, and moved out the same afternoon. I was completely heartsick, and heartbroken. I just couldn't accept that my son, my very dear son would leave like that. For 2 days I couldn't eat, I had nothing to say(miracle), I just grieved.

Kyle moved in with family friends, so I know he is in a good place, but for days I kept waiting for him to say Mama, I'm coming home, and he just hasn't. Andrew and Ashley say he isn't coming back, and he was just ready to be on his own. I think I am still grieving the abruptness of his leaving. I find myself still waiting up for him to come in from work, but he doesn't come.

He seems very happy with his living arrangement, and I hope it works out for him. He does call often, and I see him a couple of times a week,but this Mama is having a heck of a time adjusting.

I feel very drained lately. Physically and emotionally. The strength I usually draw on seems to have failed me. I do my daily readings, but somedays, I can't remember if I prayed or not. I told God I know I'm rambling , and you know my heart, please give me the strength I need. You and I both know, I am all out