what not to wear...

What do you wear camping when it is 105? Nothing, because only crazy people would go camping when it is 105. Luckily a "cold" front came through last night, and it is only supposed to be 95 today.

That still leaves me with the dilemma of what not to wear. I don't wear shorts, I have a few skorts, and capris. I wear skirts all the time, but who wants to ruin their good summer skirts in the oklahoma mud and dirt.

Mr. Tucker says just wear your swimsuit. Oh yeah, i just see me prancing around the campsite in a swimsuit for 4 days. Just give me a crown and call me Miss America. I will wave to the adoring crowds as i make my way around the area.

I wear my swimsuit for swimming, and that's it. So the heat thing has left me with a bit of a conundrum. I hate to be hot. I don't like jeans. I don't want to ruin my clothes. I guess i will do what any sensible person would do in a heat wave. Just stay home!!!!

No one will let me stay home, because it is only 95 degrees now, and it will be perfect at the Lake, just ask me....

honey don't

I know many wives have a honey do list. I do too. There are things on that list like finishing the trim and tile in our bathroom. Putting up the new french doors in our bedroom. We have quite a large list of things to do at our home.

Right now i am overwhelmed, and so i am focusing on the honey don't list. It is not nearly as long or as extensive as the honey do list.

It goes like this. Honey do give me all the love and support you can spare right now, i need it. Honey please don't go on the internet and research all the things i might have. I know to you expanding the list from the possibility of 1 terrible diagnosis to 1200 possible illnesses, conditions, whatever. This does not comfort me as i am not a linear thinker.

I do not see life according to lines and equations. I do not feel any comfort or relief from the horse and zebra comparison. The vast information on all these web-pages only cause me anxiety and stress.

I don't want to read them, i don't want to know. i have no interest or desire to compare myself to all the people and their symptoms floating out there in never-never land. Today is enough for me. I have things to pack, lists to make, clothes to iron and meals to prepare.

I understand that this is how your brain works, but mine doesn't . I hope you can relate to how i feel, but this internet search is scaring me to death, and i just don't have time to be scared.

we're havin' a heat wave

i watched the local news last night, just for kicks, and found out we were in the middle of a heat wave. An honest to goodness triple digit heat-wave. It is supposed to last until monday. I know I have lived in Oklahoma for 14 years, and the 7 before that in the San Joaquin Valley, I know what hot is.

Deep down though, i am still the Northern California sissy, that thinks 70 degrees is perfect, and anything much over 80 is ridiculous. I literally hide in the house until the sun goes behind the trees, then i check the damage to my flowers and things brought on by the heat. I have been known to climb in the pool when the water is well warmed, and it isn't too hot to breathe outside.

Ben works at the Brick plant, and he said this morning it was 120 on the kiln decks. i am praying nothing goes wrong, and he can just manage things from the control room, and won't have to spend too much time on the decks this week.

I am so afraid of the kilns, i hate the heat and the noise, i am terrified of walking across them. I literally stopped in my tracks afraid to move. Ben had to take me by the hand to coax me back down to the office. I told him i have seen hell, and never want to see that again.

I know i should have been aware we were having a heat-wave without being told by the weather-man, how-ever, i have a very good reason for being a bit out of touch. It is called the summer yuck.

Tuesday evening, i touched Sean and he was burning up. His temp. went above 104. He then began vomiting all over the house. Loads of fun. Last night Christian was hit by the same thing. He spiked a temp. of 103, and then started shaking terribly. It took a little while to get his temp under control. Alexandra was up and down all night. She fussed and cried(oh wait, that was me) , at 2:00a.m. i just gave up and left her in bed with me.

Christian was in bed with us also, his hot little body just tossed and turned, he would cry out for a drink of water. Ben and I tried to keep him comfortable. It was a very long and difficult night for everyone. Bens' alarm went off at 4:30, and then both the babies woke up.

The 3 of us waived Ben off at 5:15. We ate breakfast, yelled at the stupid rooster to stop crowing outside my window, and finally went back to bed at 8:00. It is almost noon, and everyone here is still moving in slow motion.

The children just ate breakfast a 2nd time, or is that lunch? I am so confused. I am getting hungry again, but i ate a pumpkin muffin and some watermelon at the crack of dawn. I baked 36 muffins and froze them for le camping, but we have eaten most of them. I am either going to have to bake more on Sat. morning or forget fresh muffins for our trip.

I have been told the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but what about the road to the Lake. What if i don't bake the muffins and cookies, what if we eat junky camping food instead. What if i don't make the spaghetti sauce to take down for the first night, and (gasp) the children and husband have to eat sandwiches instead.

I have to continue my camping count down today. I need to finalize the menu and figure out what utensils, and seasonings to pack. I have to track down sandals and swim shoes, life jackets, beach towels and swim suits. I also have to pack or supervise the packing of a house full of children. Ashley and Kyle are on their own.

I have made a few requests for myself for this trip. 1 my own tent. I am only sharing with the 2 babies. Lest you think i am mean, Ben likes to sleep under the stars on top of a sleeping bag with his favorite girl Maggie(the mastiff). 2 i want a battery operated fan for my tent in case the lake side breezes fail to show up. 3 a queen size elevated air mattress(yeah, yeah, i know sissy)
4 a large frozen bottle a Margaritas , i may even survive this camping trip.

The last time i went camping with my older sister Anita her 3 boys, my Dad, and our then family of two children. She and I sat by the Lake sipping white wine out of my Dads' coffee cups, and she looked at me as we dipped our toes in the water, it was twi-light and really beautiful with the trees silhouetted in the sunset. We were hot, but having a great time laughing and goofing off. She sighed and said God, how i hate camping. I know just what she means.

the jokes on me

For the last month Alexandra has been running me ragged with her new game. It is called pee-pee. She yells pee-pee, and runs to the bathroom, i strip her and pull off her diaper, she sits for maybe 2 seconds jumps up flushes the toliet and promptly pees on the floor.

After a month, the game has gotten a little old for me,but it never ceases to amuse her, so for the sake of peace, she yells pee-pee, and i make Ashley or Nicole run to the bathroom with her and repeat the ritual.

The girls are not amused. They think it is a waste of time, and a waste of time. i insist someday soon she will get the hang of it , and won't we all be happy when we don't have to change a diaper everytime she yell pee-pee.

Today she decided to mix it up a little bit, we had already made 500(at least a dozen) trips to the bathroom when she yelled pee-pee and grabbed my hand. Once again we ran to the bathroom, i pulled off her diaper and tucked the front and back of her dress into the collar for safety and was about to put her on the toliet when she stepped on the scale. I said no Alexandra you have to sit down, and she promptly sat on the scale and peed on it. She was so proud. I cleaned up the scale and was laughing so hard Ben came to see what was so funny(if i had lost my mind again).

He stood in the bathroom door and found the baby and i sitting on the floor, me in hysterics, and the baby using her diaper trying to help me clean up the scale. There is never a dull moment at the lazy-t ranch or tuckerville as our neighbors call it.

Who ever thought potty-training could be so much fun.

Daddy

21 years ago my husband became a Daddy for the very first time, and while he is an experienced Daddy now, it has never become old or routine.

From the first moment he held Andrew and looked into those big brown eyes he fell in love, and i have watched him fall in love all over each time he held one of our babies. He fell in love with the new life we helped to create, and he fell in love with me.

I laughed the first time he struggled to dress Andrew, and change his first diaper ever, and i laughed every time he put one of the babies shirts on backwards. He insists they don't make babies clothes properly. Whoever heard of shirts that buttoned up the back????

I have watched him teach his children to play ball, fish, set up tents, cook, work on cars all the sorts of things Daddys' teach their little ones. I have watched him develop relationships with his grown sons, and growing daughters, all while juggling the needs of 4 little boys and a baby girl.\

He is an amazing man, and my hero. I don't say that lightly or just because i love him, it is the fact that for 25 years, he has got up and gone to work everyday to provide for my needs and the needs of our ever-growing family. I respect who he is as a person, and who he has grown to be, because he put the love of his wife and children first.

He may never be rich, he may never be famous, but he has so many gifts that money just can't buy. Happy Fathers' Day sweetheart, i think i love you more now than ever.

bricktown

Wednesday morning we dropped off Ashley for her trip to OU, and headed to OKC. As a surprize, Ben made reservations for a suite at one of the Hotels in Brick town. We never stay there because it is so expensive. Our suite was lovely, and it overlooked the pool, and the Brick-town canal.

We spent the day doing a lot of nothing, swimming in the pool and just relaxing. Ben wanted to take my mind off the next days events, and he did a really great job. I enjoyed playing in the pool with Nicole and Alexandra. I even bought a new swimsuit.

We went to Bass Pro Shop, Oklahomas' favorite vacation destination. They sell everything you never knew you needed for camping, fishing, hunting and boating. Alexandra loves the displays in the store and gets very excited about the large fish tank. I think it is so funny that people spend the whole day in there. If they had a cafe, some people would never leave.

Nicole wanted to eat dinner at Toby Keiths' Bar and Grill. It was way too loud for me, and so expensive. We decided on Earls BBQ. They have the best okra, i didn't have to make. It was wonderful.

After dinner, we wandered all around the canal area and ate really decadent ice cream at the marble creamery. We went back to the hotel, and swam some more, and then off to bed. We had to be at the hospital at 7:00.

Ben really went out of his way to help me to relax and have a lovely day. He knew my anxiety levels were sky-high. I was really calm until we got to the surgical center, and there was a hill-billy family from hell there having a party in the waiting room. They were so loud, i couldn't hear the questions the receptionist and nurse were asking me. I finally asked if someone got confused about where the party was at, because i thought it was a hospital.

They finally asked them to quiet down. It was unbelievable. They even had food...who has a party in a waiting room????I was almost relieved(almost) to go back into surgery, at least i escaped the crazy loud people.

I remembered to pray, and even to offer up the pain afterwards, but i can't help but be grateful they only stuck me 3 times for the i.v.. It slipped out and they couldn't get it securely in the vein. The 2nd nurse said the only good vein i had was where they would normally draw blood. I said please use a good vein.

It must have been a good one, because the last thing i remember was being put on the operating table, and then lights out...I am still recovering, and face some additional procedures this summer+ 6 months of antibiotics, but i keep telling myself the goal is to be healthy and feel good again. I have way too much to do, to not feel well.

Alexandra has been so clingy since my hospital visit. She stays with me all the time, which is fine,except she wants to sit on my tummy, and that is not so good. I am still very sore. Tomorrow is another day, and i know it will be a better one.

feed me Seymour

Tiffiany came over Saturday morning to take me to Walmart for a few supplies, and to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I need to do a serious shopping, but i haven't had the energy, and Kyle has been doing most of my shopping after work at the big Wal-mart he works at.

I really appreciate all the shopping he has done for me, but it has taken a toll on my grocery budget. It is always a little bit of a shock when the children get out of school. They have been home for a month now, and i have come to the conclusion that children eat constantly. They are kind of like cows and just graze all day long.

We go through a gallon of milk, 2 loaves of bread, lots of butter, a lb of lunch meat, crackers, graham crackers and lots of fruit every day. Every other day they tell me there is nothing to eat in the house. I make lists, i offer suggestions, and i hear the same thing over and over.

The babies and I eat a very simple lunch. It is left-overs or some sort of sandwich. For some reason, they think i need to cook them lunch everyday. I say to them hello, it is 98 degrees plus humidity, i don't want to eat, let alone cook . I turned the air conditioner on last week. I don't want to heat the house up by cooking non-stop. I am not a short-order cook!!!!

We alternate breakfasts between hot items and cold cereal, so they are not entirely mistreated. They have a nice supper every night, these are not neglected children. I just don't want to cook all the time....

Since i have been so ill this spring, the girls and Ben have really helped with the cooking, i don't have the energy i normally have, and tend to fade in the afternoon. Thank goodness for crock-pots. They are really a busy mommys best-friend. I even found a way to cook a large amount of "baked potatos" in the crock pot.

Tomorrow night, we are having bbq chicken, crock-pot potatos, corn on the cob and a tossed salad. I am supposed to make Ben lemon squares. I was too tired tonight.

I have to plan the childrens meals for wednesday and thursday as i will be at the hospital. Ashley and Kyle are both able to cook, but they want me to keep it very simple. They would prefer pizza, but they want pizza hut to make it if mama isn't home to roll out the crust.

I have a lot of anxiety about the whole hospital visit. I really hate the very idea of going. I dread the i.v. They can never get them in me. I have been stuck over and over. I am hoping the anesthesiologist puts it in. They at least numb my arm with lido-caine before they start digging.
I do not want a catheter either, but lucky me, i have won the lottery....

I think my past hospital experiences just add fuel to my anxiety. I know i need to relax, and be calm, it is just getting there.

it's raining again

It has been such a wet spring, I thought it would never stop raining, but it did. Now we are having thunderstorms. Somehow this is supposed to be different rain, but frankly it is still raining, except it is loud. Thunderstorms are very loud, bright too, with all that lightning around. We are quite behind on the mowing, and have only been able to keep it down around the houses.

There will be a huge hay harvest this summer. It is almost 3 feet high now. We found an area on the east side of the house that never seemed to dry out after the rains. I called the man that reads our meter, and he said congratulations, you have a water leak.

Kyle dug a hole about 5 feet long and 3 1/2 feet deep to track down the leak while i was at the Dr.s' office Wednesday. It was much worse than they thought. Ben and Abe our water guy decided to tackle the project together. Ben took off work Thursday and Abe picked up the parts for the job. Andrew, Nicole, Connor and Jonathan took turns digging, baling out the hole, shifting mud. I am glad ??? I was at my other Dr. Appt. , i think all the mud would have driven me nuts. Mud doesn't bother Daddys' the same way, because they don't have to scrub the mud out of the clothes.

I am happy to report we no longer have a water leak. They finished up working on it about 7:00 last night, just as i came in from my appt. They have to wait until everything dries out to fill in the hole. For the time being, we can't let the little ones outside without close supervision. I don't want a child to fall in the hole. Knowing my children, they would find a big muddy hole a fascinating place to play.

I saw my rheumatologist on wed., and the urologist on thurs., i have had my fill of Dr.s offices for a long time. I was very stressed out and upset by the whole urologist thing. I have to have a procedure done at the surgical center next week. I would really like to back out, or find some one to take my place. I don't like needles, and i am facing a few. I don't like to be messed with at all, and they are going to mess with me. Ben said i need to just stay focused on getting better.

I am going to try, i do feel very anxious and neervous. I need to call Granny because i haven't told her yet, and then i will go back to praying for peace and strength.

At least we don't have a water leak....

is that heaven or a yard sale sign?

Tiffiany called me at 7:00 Saturday morning, and said get up Mom, put some clothes on, there are yard sales everywhere. I protested, it is way too early to be up, I don't want to be up...she persisted, it will do you a world of good to get out of the house. I said wake me later, 5 minutes later Tiffiany came in my bedroom, found a summer skirt and top, pulled my protesting self out of bed and said come on.

The first yard sale was about 7 miles from the house, I bought a bookcase for 2.00, a green wingback chair for 5.00, and 2 leather and wood arm chairs for 3.00. I was in yard sale heaven. They had tons of baby girl clothes, excellent quality 6/1.00, that's cheaper than the Salvation Army. Tiffiany and i dug through 4 huge boxes, I also bought a spiderman, and several hot wheels cars because with the little ones, you can never have enough cars.

We had to call Kyle to come and pick up my treasures, he was still asleep, and not that thrilled,but he found a gun holster, so his help cost me 5.00.

We went out to the brick plant to take Ben a drink and say Hi(pick his pockets for more money).
He was very happy to see me out of bed, gave me some money and a kiss, and said don't over-do.

The next yard-sale we hit had lots of glass-ware. I spent .95 cents, and bought 2 beautiful wine glasses, a milk glass compote, 2 milk glass ice cream dishes, and 2 lavendar depression glass ice cream dishes. The next 3 yard-sales were not very good, I found a few small things, and Alexandra a baby-doll.

I was starting to fade so we decided to head to one more big yard-sale on the way home. Three neighboring towns all had city wide sales on Sat. but, i didn't have that kind of money or energy. The last yard sale, had great stuff, lots of antiques and collectibles, but i didn't want to spend a lot of money. I did buy a french provencial style chair for my bedroom, a king size(enormous) pillowsham in black/cream toile, i am going to use to re-upholster(staple the heck out of it) Nicoles' chair. This really beat up cabinet I am going to hang gardening tools in if Nicole doesn't sneak it up to her room. I also found a beautiful mahogany dresser with a matching mirror for 40.00. I didn't have 40.00, and i wanted to measure, and see if the mirror would fit above my sinks, to use in my new vanity area.

I talked it over with Ben, and he said, if i thought it was a good deal to buy it. The lady didn't sell it, and was very pleased when i called and said we'd take it. We went to pick it up yesterday evening. They had changed the lock on their shed, and didn't check to see if it, so after the women worked at it for an hour,Ben picked the lock and opened up the shed, he and Andrew carted it all off to the van. They all wanted to know why everything i bought was either big, akward or heavy. Just lucky i guess. They were so excited when i had them haul the big dresser up the stairs, they were just teeming with excitement.

I am finally feeling better, I hope it lasts. I seem to have missed spring entirely and gone straight to summer. It has been in the 90's, and I turned the A/C on. It is not nice and warm, i missed that, it has turned stinkin' HOT already.

Teach me not to ever get sick again, yesterday I decided to catch up on the ironing, and there were 27 items waiting for me, that's enough to send anyone back to bed!!!! I did half of it before i got too hot to continue. I thought i would finish it this morning,but we decided to clean out Seans' dresser, then we decided to do Nicoles' and so i guess it will have to wait a few more days.

I always think of Bens' Mom when i iron, she loved to do it. It is a great blessing having a mil, that loves, to iron, and that irons all your clothes for fun. I sure do miss her.

Be still

I had a terrible night last night, i really couldn't sleep because i was in so much pain, and then i watched some really sweet(incredibly sappy) movie on the hallmark channel until 3:00 a.m. I tried to talk myself into sleeping, nope, couldn't read . My eyes were burning. I laid there. It was one of those catholic offer it up moments.

Alexandra woke up at 6:00, Christian shortly after that, and then Sean Patrick. I had all three little ones in my bed, i was so exhausted, i was too tired to move. All the teen-agers in my house were blissfully asleep. Sean said Mama the sun is up, we need to get out of bed. I sent Sean in search of big children. It took awhile, but finally Nicole heard us, and got up. I told her to wake up the other children(drag them out by their hair), feed the babies breakfast, and keep an eye on things.

I left strict instructions, i was going to go to sleep. Do not come in my room unless someone is bleeding to death or the house is on fire. Do not bring me the phone, and do not come in to tell on each other. I had a migraine starting due to lack of sleep, so i put the corn sack on my head, took a pain pill, pulled the covers up and slept. I slept about 3 hours, and started to think i may someday be human again. I got up and put my clothes on, and after deciding that required a lot of effort, i made my bed, then i went back to bed.

I have a real thing about messy beds, and wrinkled sheets, and my covers, but that's a whole other quirk...Nicole said why did you put your dress on to go back to bed. You have been really sick, you could stay in your pajamas, if Ben came in with me in my pajamas , he would think i was dying, so i get dressed.

A few hours later, i got up and put my make-up on and curled my hair, and where do you think your going? the little chorus sang. No-where was my reply, your Daddy will be coming home soon, and i want to look presentable. Ashley said, after 25 years hasn't Daddy seen you any way possible? I suppose he has, but i always want him to think i made the effort to look nice just for him.

I was very grateful i did, a short time later, when i was laying down with Alexandra for her(our) nap, Fr. Adrian came to see me. I didn't know he was coming, and was glad i had a dress and some make-up on. I was also glad the house was pretty clean.

He visited with me a short time, annointed me with chrism oils, and gave me communion. He said vbs was going great, and the children and i were missed, but there would be next year, and it wasn't something to worry about.

He said what more can you do, than what you can do. Offer up the pain, discouragement, and suffering for the benefit of the body of Christ. Everyone needs prayer, and you are in special position to work for the benefit of those around you through your prayers.

He asked how i was dealing with the frustration, and i told him, i just try to get through each day, and take things one day at a time. I am really trying to focus and meditate on the scripture the Lord keeps leading me to...Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that i am God.

God whispers to us in the stillness, and in the busyness of everyday life, i may not be still enough to hear the whispers. I have spent the past 2 days mostly in bed, but i don't think that is the stillness exactly. My spirit needs to be still, so for now i will try to learn what i am being taught in this season of my life, i will try not to push myself so hard, i will try not to be so critical of myself or others, i will try to be still.

I will spend my time not being irritated with myself for what i am unable to do, but rejoice in the things i am still able to do, and most of all i will pray...Rejoice in the Lord always, and again i say rejoice....

the good, the bad, the indifferent

I have a little confession to make, it should come as little surprise to anyone,but after not feeling well since the 24th, and running a fever since the 29th, i am getting a bit short-tempered. It is frustrating knowing i have so much to do, and no energy to do it.

My stupid, awful stuff decided to be really bad today. I had trouble just sitting up earlier, so i went back to bed. My body hurt so bad today that holding Christian and Alexandra was excruciatingly painful. I hate to think about my stuff, or dwell on it, i just try not to over-do, cope and go on.

Today was just a bad day. I called my rheumatologists office today, and they also want me to see a urologist. It seems there call be all sorts of complications from the fibromyalgia and sjogrens syndrome. Just peachy...

Ben thought i should go on-line and read some forums on how to cope with these things, and talk to other people that live with what i have. I was feeling stubborn and resistant. It didn't help matters that sitting up this morning was so painful, and i couldn't stand sitting at the computer. He went on-line bookmarked the forum he wanted me to look at, pulled up the page and said please read it..

I did read it, but i didn't like it. I don't know that it makes any sense at all, but i have no desire to go on this forum, join the forum, write to people and ask them about symptoms and so on...

The truth is when i started looking, and read about something called interstitial cystitis, irritable bladder syndrome, and somthing else that causes bleeding from the bladder and urethra, i became terribly upset. It made me cry. Granny says it is always harder to deal with things when you are ill, and honestly i am having enough trouble coping with my pain and things, i don't want to read a whole forum of it.

I enjoy reading Blogs of other Moms, and seeing how they live, what their days are like, it is a little escape for me. I like recipes, and decorating, and reading the everyday, the mundane. I enjoy the companionship i receive from these long distance sisters, and for now that will be enough.

In the next few weeks, I will have a round of appointments with 3 Dr.s isn't that enough reality...Ben doesn't understand...He says face it head on, attitude is everything, you have to fight. I think I have to face it in my own way, and like God has been reminding me, I need to just be still...

I am feeling a little better this evening, Alexandra got in bed with me, and nursed to sleep. It shocks me how big my baby is getting, I went to sleep with her, and we both napped for quite a while. I guess we both needed it.

teach your children well

Tiffiany often accompanys me on my trips to the Salvation Army. She loves to hunt for a bargain also, but my excitement at finding great deals just, well tickles her. She literally laughs at me. Sometimes she doesn't see what i see until i play with it and break out the spray paint, but they say she who laughs last...

Ashley and Tiffiany went to Wewoka yesterday afternoon, they called me frantically. Mom, we need help, send Kyle with the truck, we'll explain later...I dutifully did as they asked...and they came home with an antique chair and sofa, the man gae them a lamp for good measure. The items are solid, and will eventually need to be recovered, but for now a throw will work. The woodwork on them is worn with age, but very beautiful. Ashleys' care is still sitting in the entryway as she has yet to corral the teenage boys long enough for them to schlep it up the stairs. I absolutely forbid her and Tiffiany from trying. Tiff is game for anything, but i live in fear of Ashley slipping and falling.

Tiffiany came in today, she had been to Wewoka again, and said Mom, you have to get well. Andrew and I went to talk to the man who gave us the furniture, and today he gave me a lamp. He is cleaning out an old shop that used to have an antique store in it. He said it is full of all sorts of junk Mom, and he said we can have anything we want....It saves him from having to haul it away. We need to go tomorrow before he throws away something you will love...She is trying to talk me into getting well. If antibiotics don't work try temptation and bribery....

I am really hoping I feel better tomorrow. It is rainy and cold today, so on top of my infection and temp. my fibromyalgia has decided to be very bad. I really want to go with her tomorrow, i remember that antique store, who knows what i might find in that old building, i had better skip the flip-flops and put shoes on, if a bug ran across my foot, i may have some sort of attack.

Ben asked what in the hell is the big chair doing in my entryway, where did it come from, who did it? I just said Ashley did it, he shook his head and walked away...here we go again

I have been puzzling for sometime what kind of window treatments to put in Nicoles' french boudoir, her walls are wheat, she has my iron princess bed we painted it out black, and used a gold leafing pen to decorate all the trim on the bed. Her bedspread is ivory chiffon i found at a yardsale for .25cents. For part of her Christmas gift i found beautiful pillows clearanced out at pier 1 for $5.oo each. They are ivory with purple. I want a very romantic look, almost like a canopy surrounding the bed, but i haven't been able to afford any of the things i liked.

Today i found the Nester again, and read her entries on her window mistreatments, and it may be the fever talking, but i am just crazy enough to think i can do this... Every time i get sick, i get a little stir crazy, then the wheels start turning. Ben says will you just stop planning and thinking!!!! Not going to happen.

I painted out the chandelier black, and i am looking for some crystals to add to it, because Nicole takes after her Mama and can be alittle over the top. I feel inspired to break out my glue gun, and some tacks and have at it...I had just better wait a little while, if Ben catches me on a ladder he may jerk a knot in my tail...

Alexandras' room is white and bright pink toile wallpaper and white bead board. She has a brown chenille type bumper pads, a pink satin, and dotted chenille blanket with an assortment of pink sheets. Her windows have white plantation shades on them, but no actual window dressing. Her crib is pink, her shelves are painted ...you guessed it pink...and i have decorated with family heirlooms. Her great-grandmas 2nd grade Peter Rabbit book, her grandfathers baby book, a little cup that belonged to her great-great Aunt Laura, and pictures of her great-great Aunt Helen, and Aunt Helens autograph book from grade-school. Oh there is an assortment of china dolls given to me over the years, and other pink or flowered cups and things i have collected. Having 12 years between girls sent me into pink overload. It is ironic as my little Lola as i call her loves red, and looks wonderful in red. She really takes after my Mother.

Anyway, i drift..i found absolutely perfect pink and brown polka-dot sheers for her room with pink and brown ribbon trim on the valance, the only problem is they cost $100.00. I absolutely cannot pay $100.00 . I do however have a ton of bright pink dingle ball trim courtesy of Rosemary, i also have rolls of brown and pink grosgrain ribbon from her also, dare i mistreat the babys windows also.

summer

Ben is feeling better today, and is back working on the bathroom. He is putting up the tile around the bathtub. We have decided to trim out the shower the same way, so we need to make another trip to Lowes', but it is an hour away, and we really haven't had the time or energy to tackle that.

Kyle is mowing, hallelujah, amen...The little boys weeded my flower bed this morning, and all i have to say about that is i hope i have some balloon flowers left...Everything looks like a weed to a 10 & 11 year old.

Alexandra got up at 6:15 this morning, I didn't lose my coffee today, but there was no one to distract me. We ate breakfast together, and then she nursed and went back to bed. I folded laundry, swept the living room, fixed the white chenille bedspreads i put on the couch and chair in the summer, i think they are cooler, and cleaner. When my children put their dirty selves on them, i just pull them off and throw them in the washer. I arranged my massive quantities of pillows, and then i sat down to listen to a sermon from Mars Hill Church. I do receive the homilies and bulletins each week from Fr. Adrian, but i enjoy the plainspoken practicality of Mark Driscoll.

My temp. has come back, so it is time to lay down again. No one else got up until after 10:00 this morning. It was eerily quiet. Sean Patrick woke up and sat on my lap while i listened to the sermon. He is getting so tall.

I am so glad we are not playing ball. Nicole is going to a photography clinic next week, the following week Ashley is going to Senior Day for small town students at OU. They will be taking the students out for 2 meals and an undisclosed special activity...best of all it is free...

The children still have piano lessons until June 24th and their recital is June 26. I have started making lists for our camping trip it is like planning for a military manouever. Andrew and Tiffiany, Kyle and Timmi, James Henry plus all the rest of us will be there, and i wouldn't be surprised if Tony came down on his day off work. We are only going an hour away, because i don't ride well, and i have are we there yet syndrome.

We have to get 2 campsites because we need several tents, and have so many people it is much nicer to have room to spread out. We will be taking the dogs also, and they all need their rabies shots updated. Ben and Maggie will sleep out under the stars together, Otto will bark at the wind, i don't know how Pepper will act, but i think she will sleep in the tent, and enjoy it.

Ashley and Nicole received the sad news their trip to Teen talent Nationals in North Carolina had been cancelled. They were both so excited about the trip, it was Nicoles first year of competion in the Teen division. The girls had raised $3000.00, but needed 7000.00 more dollars for the 13 girls and 6 adults. It was decided it wasn't the time to ask the community to pitch in so much money, and the individual families couldn't make up the shortfall. Next year the competition is in Orlando...

I am sorry for the girls, but it is a relief not to be facing 3-4 rehersals a week for the next , and then both my big girls gone for a week to North Carolina.

I am hoping for a low-key summer, but lets' be realistic, i have 8 children at home 2 next door, and countless drop-ins. How low- key can it be?

out of the mouths of babes

I was wandering(wondering) around the house this morning, and was distracted by a phone call encouraging/pressuring me to attend vbs tonight with the children in spite of my kidney infection and temp of 99.9. I was having a hard time just being out of bed.

I mean no problem , how many people do they expect to drive 1 hour round trip, and then stay up 3 more hours, but i didn't have to do anything, oh except sit in the kitchen chase me 2 toddlers and try not to collapse. A hamburger dinner was included, so i wouldn't have to cook, and that made it all ok.

I must confess, I was very irritated, by the whole conversation, and even though they mean well, not walking in my shoes, and expecting that out of me is really unfair, and unrealistic.

The next conversation involved just telling my husband to do it...i don't know, but i don't "tell" my husband to do anything, i will ask him to do things, but the key to success, is knowing when to ask him, and when to leave him alone, and as he had struggled with putting the new, lock and handle and things on the door for hours, and everything had gone wrong, it seemed like the wrong time in my judgement to ask him anything,and i live with him...

While i was wandering/wondering, i lost my cup of coffee, and couldn't find it anywhere. I finally asked the children to help me look for it...I was searching and muttering under my breath that my coffee cup was probably with my mind, and Sean Patrick looked up at me and said, Mama, have you lost your mind too?

Yep, its going to be one of those days, my six year old knows, i have lost my mind and my coffee cup....we finally found my coffee cup in the laundry room, my mind has yet to check in!!!!!

Melvin and Peggy Pevehouse

Many, many years ago on the first Sunday in June, Melvin Ray Pevehouse married Peggy Pauline Gibson. They got married in the yard at Aunt Veda and Uncle "Mac" Magars house. They met at a mutual friends"chivalrie". A southern custom that has almost disappeared. the year was 1947, and Melvin had returned from a stint in the navy during WWII. Peggy was a senior in high school, the salutatorian of Vanoss High School. Melvin didn't have a car, and would hitch-hike and walk, from Ada to Bishop Parish, a small area outside of Gaar Corner to keep company with her.

She wanted to graduate from high school, and married women were not allowed to finish their education, so she chose the first Sunday in June following her graduation.

There weren't many job opportunities in rural oklahoma at this time so in the summer of 1947, they set out for California with Grandpa R.C., Grandma Dot, and Granny and Grandpa Gibson. They had a one room apartment in the same house as the rest of the family, and started their new life in Alameda.

Their daughter Donna Ray was born the following March, but she was tragically killed in a fall at the age of 4. Douglas wasborn the following June, and Regina was born the next July. They eventually moved to a brand new house in the Palma Ceia division of Hayward.

About this time, my mother, Patty met them at church.They became fast friends, and have been friends since 1958. When I was born about 8 years later, my mother had to return to work when i was 6 weeks old. She gave me to the care of Peggy and Melvin Pevehouse, and I have been there ever since.

It is not that i didn't have my own, family, and older brothers, and sisters, but my life has been so blessed, and so much richer by being a part of their lives.

I have learned so many things from them, i wouldn't really know how to begin to explain it, but everything that is good and right and true about me, i learned from them. I also know every okie expression in the book, because Grannys' speech is completely peppered with okieisms.

Papaw passed away a few years ago, at the time, i felt how could the world just go on without this amazing man, but Granny has persevered through her grief and her lonliness, and taught me new lessons along the way.

Today marks the 62nd Anniversary of their Marriage, and I called Granny to tell her I loved her, and was thinking of her on this special day...Their beginning is still something to be celebrated, love and faithfulness always are.