blessings

For several months Ben has had abnormal blood work. Not that anything about him falls in the range of normal, but this was very scary. He was anemic, and his blood platelets were between 35,000 and 44,000. This is below in the cellar, and the nurse wanted me to check him for unusual bruising, and if he began to bleed go to the ER immediately.

After the 3rd abnormal test, his cardiologist set him up with a Dr. he went to school with. Dr. Reynolds is a hematologist/oncologist. I just kept praying dearGod no, please no. We have been through so much, and we are so content right now, i just didn't think i had the strength to face another major crisis. The Cardiologist didn't want to waste precious time waiting to find out what was going on, because if it was serious, we might need that time for something else.

Ben was very calm about the whole thing, but he would talk about dying, and that it was okay, but he was worried about me and the children. One night after he had one of his dying conversations with me, i broke down crying. I told him, I will face whatever i have to when the time comes, but i don't want to deal with it prematurely.

Yesterday,we went to see Dr. Reynolds. I was so sick to my stomach, i thought i was going to throw up . There were several people in the office that day for chemotherapy, and it had me pretty rattled. Honestly, i was terrified. Bens' Dad, and Uncle both died from cancer, and he already had a heart attack last year, and the stints put in. He said, i just hope i didn't get the bad heart from my moms' side, and the cancer from my Dads.

The nurses were amazing. They tried to put us at ease, asked us if we were married, how long, if we had children, the usual questions. The nurse almost fell over when she found out how many children we had. She was reading their names on Bens' tattoo, all of these are yours together.

The Dr. was also wonderful to us. He spent a lot of time getting to know us as a couple and reviewing Bens' medical history. They did their own testing at the office, and Bens' platelets were better than normal, they were now 389,000 and no sign of anemia. The Dr. said it was a happy day for him, because it was the one time in every 6 months or so that he got to tell someone there was absolutely nothing wrong with them. I was so overcome, i didn't know whether to hug his neck, laugh, or cry. I think it was a combination of the 3. I was so happy to tell the nurse we didn't have to come back.

The only explanation he had was perhaps they were drawing his blood in the wrong type of tube for him, and his blood was clumping , and the count was inaccurate. I don't know, I really don't care , my husband is fine, and i feel like we have a whole new life to live. I know scary can be right around the corner, but for today all I can say is Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise him all creatures, here below.....

On the ride home from Mercy Hospital, I looked up and saw a huge billboard with the picture of a sunrise on it. It said "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 ...I was completely floored. There on a billboard was a reminder of Gods' love and faithfulness for the likes of me.

I may be rambling today, i am not sure, after all the children went to bed, we locked ourselves in our bedroom turned on some soft music, and drank a bottle of champagne, we didn't go to sleep until well after 2:00am, life is sweet, but the consequences can be hard.