acceptance/Resurrection

The obituary was very short and simple, the main content was really all his family members, and I recall how sad it was to read Luke Gabriel Tucker 4/9/02 born and died at a local hospital.

I received a beautiful card and flowers from the pharmacy i used all the time, one woman wrote of the witness to having a funeral mass and burial for our son when so many people in our time consider babies disposable...At the time I didn't think of Lukes' life as being a witness of Gods' love,but that is how i see it now. When you are picking out things for your nursery you never imagine picking out a casket or flowers to cover a tiny coffin. The funeral home



charged us nothing, and the flower shop did the same. A local childrens store called and let me pick out an outfit and blanket, they also included a tiny stuffed bear.

Gods' love surrounded our family, from the large group of family and church members that stayed in the hospital or at my bedside through the whole ghastly ordeal. The people who rushed back when i began hemorraging late that night and spent the time of my surgery in prayer.

So many people came and held my son, but for years I carried in my heart he was alone, it was a terrible burden on my soul. Out of the blue, at a womens conference a found a childrens' book called "Angel in the Waters" by Regina Doman, It is a babies journey before birth with his guardian angel. And then, I knew, my son was never alone, his angel had been with him all
along

God has used so many little things to lead me to acceptance and healing. Even this blog. My heart broke into so many little pieces, that day, and that is how God has healed my heart, one , tiny broken piece at a time. It has taken years, but by Gods' grace, I will get there.

It seems appropriate that this year in the midst of Holy week observances, I am thinking about my little son. Today, Holy Thursday, is the anniversary of his death and birth,and on 4/12 while we celebrate christs' resurrection and the emptiness of the tomb, i will pause to remember the burial of my own son, and how our dear friends dug his tiny grave by hand, and after the rains started my dear friend Carol warned me that their might be water in the grave...she was afraid the sound of the casket hitting the water would send me over the edge, then her dear husband said there will be no water in that grave, not if i have to suck it out with a straw, and there wasn't....

I don't know if Jerry had to resort to a straw, but the picture of him out there on Bald Hill with a straw made me laugh when little else could.

I hope all have a Holy and Blessed Easter Season. I am counting my blessings today, as I thank God for all the good he has done in my life, I am also thanking him for allowing me to see the witness of my sons short life.