kyle and timmi

It has been a very busy month..so busy i haven't really had time to think let alone blog about it. I have a new daughter . Her name is Timmi Rockelle, and I got her fully grown, my son Kyle married her.

I have been decorating hall, baking cupcakes, undecorating the hall, cleaning the hall, packing stuff up to take to the hall, packing stuff up to bring home from the hall, i swear i have met myself on the road to Konawa several times...

It was really hard getting things done with Nicole and Connor at camp, and Ashley working 3 days a week..

Then Nicole pulled a muscle in her leg on Sat. at a track meet, she is still limping and in a lot of pain, it looks like she will be unable to compete in the regional track meet this week-end..so while she is laid up, Ashley works her 3 day shift enrolls in college today, and then works a fund-raiser for their florida trip fri, sat, sun...

Did i mention the laundry...Ben let Connor loose on my washing machine, and thats all i will say about that..

Seans' last ball game is away tomorrow night, and then he has a tournament all week-end, it will be over 100 every day, and my body and mind have just run out of everything...i feel unable to even go to the games, let alone chase all the little ones right now..he has gone to his last 2 weeks of games with Billie...what would i do without her..i don't want to know...

Dr. says be kind to myself, but the truth is i have been beating myself up over everything i am unable to do right now..maybe i just need a break

reflections

As I sit here rocking my baby back to sleep this morning, it gives me time to pause and reflect on a really timely encounter i had yesterday. A lady in our town stopped by for a moment, someone i know casually.

What should have been brief visit, turned into a 30 minute conversation...she has been facing many trials lately, her husband left her for another woman, problems with children. We just shared about the things we face as women...wives....and mothers.

Fear, loneliness, frustration.

She has been reeling from the unexpected news her 15 year old daughter was pregnant. She said the first words out of her mouth were, you are not keeping it, you are having an abortion...she was angry, and shocked. She thought her daughter had thrown away any opportunity for an athletic scholarship.

I found out through the grapevine about the pregnancy, and began praying for the welfare of the baby , the mother, and grandmother...the abortion was planned for the week of spring break. They went to the city to have the procedure performed, and to the grandmothers shock, they would not perform the abortion, she was too far along.

To everyones surprise, this baby had survived an appointment with death. The prayers continue for this family,and in this chance encounter, i shared with her gently, that babies are always a blessing, and thins will work out.

She said, if only i could take those words back, i didn't really mean it.

preoccupied

Summer Break, everyone is home, there are so many activities. Instead of the lazy days of summer i enjoyed so much as a child with frequent trips to the park and library, we seem to be pushed into frenetic acts..chaos..exhaustion..

I am really unhappy about all of this, and at the same time don't know the solution. I did consider throwing my calendar away, and skipping the events for the rest of the month..

Baseball, soft-ball, basket-ball, track, choir practice, youth , vacation bible school, dr.s , dentists, eye appts. I don't think I can cope right now...we are out of groceries, i have to go to the store tomorrow as the locusts have devoured anything and everything that resembles anything edible..

Maybe my summers were always hectic, maybe they have always been a blur of activity...how could they really be anything else..

Preoccupied, my brain, my heart, my thoughts are still some where else, some where far, far, away, some where with a little baby, i will never hold, never see, this side of heaven..my flesh and blood..my baby..a little one that in 10 short weeks changed my life, but is forgotten by the world.