preoccupied

Summer Break, everyone is home, there are so many activities. Instead of the lazy days of summer i enjoyed so much as a child with frequent trips to the park and library, we seem to be pushed into frenetic acts..chaos..exhaustion..

I am really unhappy about all of this, and at the same time don't know the solution. I did consider throwing my calendar away, and skipping the events for the rest of the month..

Baseball, soft-ball, basket-ball, track, choir practice, youth , vacation bible school, dr.s , dentists, eye appts. I don't think I can cope right now...we are out of groceries, i have to go to the store tomorrow as the locusts have devoured anything and everything that resembles anything edible..

Maybe my summers were always hectic, maybe they have always been a blur of activity...how could they really be anything else..

Preoccupied, my brain, my heart, my thoughts are still some where else, some where far, far, away, some where with a little baby, i will never hold, never see, this side of heaven..my flesh and blood..my baby..a little one that in 10 short weeks changed my life, but is forgotten by the world.