what is normal

I am hoping for a return to some sort of normalcy? , but i have really lost any sense of what normal is. Things have been so difficult for so long, i don't even know where to begin...

I feel the need to purge, declutter and spring clean in general, but i have to remind myself to pick one thing at a time, and go slow. My body is still very tired, and the struggle with the auto-immune diseases makes it difficult. My mind says do, but my body just won't co-operate.

Ashley returned to school, for the first time in 6 weeks today. The Dr. is allowing 2 hrs. to start, and we are to let her body and tolerance guide us. School is ridiculous as usual. I am so irritated with them right now, i am going to have to go visit with some people. They put her on the fail list, as she has been out of school so long, and want to send her to the fail club, with the other students as punishment. She spends 5 days in the hospital, emergency surgery, comes close to dying, and has a long difficult recovery with 6 weeks of home health nurses, and daily packing of her wounds, and they want to punish her!!!! and i thought i was insane....

We have lots of things coming up prom, senior pictures, soft-ball season, base-ball season, track...musical competitions, lessons...so many things, my brain has gone to befuddled or fuzz setting, i am just hoping it is not permanent...

Mom called today, her younger sister, my Aunt Linda Sue died of a massive heart attack. She is in shock as her sister is 16 years younger than she is. We are unable to travel to Missouri for her funeral, but my thoughts and prayers and with my cousins and their children. Time passes so quickly, it has been years since i have seen them.

I watched my youngest 3 children this afternoon enjoying the sunshine, and the puddles(lakes) all over our property, and it was just yesterday, that Andrew, Kyle, and Ashley were my puddle ducks, and now they are 22, 20, and 17. I blinked, and they were big, I blinked and my babies weren't babies anymore.

I am trying to remind myself everyday to savor the moments with my babies. Mud washes off, puddles will someday dry up, but the memories of watching them laughing and running through the water will last a lifetime...