perfection

I have been giving Advent and Christmas some thought this week as i navigate the dreaded storage closet that is packed floor to ceiling with my Christmas decorations, and Grandma Jo's and even some from Great-Grandma Erma and my own Grandma....I am the keeper of things....I was in their , and I don't even know how many boxes of Christmas things i have....


I am reading the daily Bible readings for Mass, and then the thought for the day in the Word among us...I have decided to give up something for Advent this year...now i haven't totally lost my mind, I know it isn't lent yet, but i have decided with prayer to try and give up my need for a sense of "perfection" I will still decorate outside, and all rooms downstairs, but i am limiting the number of trees i put up this year....i have also decided to simplify my decorations on the banister, and upstairs...i have put 2 small artificial trees on the landing, with white lights only....i may add ribbon later...i will put a wreath in the upstairs den, but that is it...

I am only decorating the tree in the dining room, and then i will put a tiny one on Alexandras' dresser with my pink frilly decorations...Lukes' ornaments will go on the 2 ft tree on the hearth...i am not going to decorate the sun room except for a wreath and bowl of ornaments on Ashleys' piano...Ben wants me to put his moms' decorations on her piano which we have moved to the living area temporarily, but i can't ...it is too accessible to little hands....

The entire season for me is spent chasing the illusion, that i can do everything...decorate, bake, cook, entertain...it places an enormous amount of pressure on me...and i lose focus of what is the most important message of the season...

Today things are in chaos, the dining room table is covered in boxes of ornaments...i hope to restore order soon...it is very difficult with 2 little ones tugging at you all day long, Alexandra has roseola and screams every time i put her down...I am praying she recovers soon...I am also praying for the grace of simplicity...show me Lord where i need to cut back...maybe we will only bake a few different cookies instead of a dozen....there has to be a way to give my children a sense of the festivity without killing myself....i have the reputation of a fantastic cook and baker, is it my vanity that causes me to do too much, i can't blame it on Jo, she has been gone 10 years...

I will try to sort this all out, and while my soul needs simplicity, i am pulled in so many directions..2 basketball games tonight, 4-h talent show and bake auction friday, share the fun sat. , sun. Mass, and the feast of St. Nicholas...i am supposed to bake 8 items for tomorrow all with a screaming baby in my arms...it saps my energy and peace...

Todays' St. Francis Xavier said" It is not the actual physical exertion that counts toward a mans' progress, nor the nature of the task, but the spirit of faith with which it is undertaken...todays psalm..118 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good his mercy endures forever...It is better to take refuge in the Lord, than to trust in man...I think i need to sit down and read todays scripture again, maybe this time it will sink in better...

Ashley asked me to help her with an arrangement including People look East, Veniti Adoremous and O Come all ye Faithful...for the Dec. recital ...maybe this is where we need to start...