memories

I was talking to my mom this week, we were talking about my Grandmother who always made the most wonderful desserts and treats. We ate a lot of beans, fried potatoes and corn bread growing up and usually followed by a chocolate cream pie or lemon merangue or whatever she had on hand. Everyones' favorites were her cinnamon rolls and her chocolate pies(tarts) they were unlike anything i have ever had. Sweet, chocolate, creamy, chewy individual pies. No one has the recipe, no one knows how to make them.

My mom and her sisters all have tried to remember, but the truth is there is no recipe. I asked years ago, and she said lord child do you ask a lot of questions, i don't have a recipe, i just make it.

I know the ingredients, they are basic, cocoa, sugar , salt, butter, milk, vanilla, i think there might be cornstarch in it too. She made a basic pie crust and put the filling in and pinched the edges of the pies up, but didn't fold it over. ..I hope to feel human tomorrow, because, i plan to experiment with her recipe so i can figure it out for my mama, it would be the best gift i could give her.

I grew up eating plain southern cooking, fried okra, gravy, fried chicken, if it sat still long enough we put gravy on it and ate it. My Grandmother was a widow at my age with 6 children still at home. She lived with us off and on my whole life. My aunts lived with us for a time, and then when they married, their familes were in and out of our home.

Bens' grandmother asked one time what did we eat when the whole family was there...beans,hardtack, fried potatoes, cornbread, fried okra,sweet tea and of course pie...she sniffed at me thats' poor people food, we don't eat that, i smiled my sweetest smile at that mean old thing, and said really, i thought it was just southern food, and since your'e from Ohio i didn't think you knew it. Well, we don't eat that way in Ohio, and only poor people eat beans and cornbread... I was poor my whole life, and didn't even know it...good food,lovingly prepared, thats what matters, it's what i remember, not the being poor part.

I ate my first steak at Bens' house the summer we started dating. His Dad put this enormous piece of meat on my plate, a huge baked potato with the works,corn on the cob, i whispered in Bens' ear what am i supposed to do with this, he laughed and said eat it....I couldn't eat that much food,and his dad was so sweet to me he wrapped up mt plate and sent the rest home with me...For lunch the next day, my grandma, sister, and i ate the rest of my dinner...My Grandma wasn't sure if this was proper behaviour, but she was never one to let food go to waste, and Bens' Dad wasn't either...Grandmas and food, they just go together.

I would liketo say Bens' Gram warmed up to me, and liked me by the time we married, i would like to say it, but it would be a complete lie. I had never encountered anyone like her in my life, certainly my Grandmas' weren't mean and they didn't swear at you or any of the strange things she did. Looking back, i realise she was depresse, and jealous, and wanted to be the center of attention. She didn't like that Ben had grown up, and had someone else in his life. She spent a lot of time making a lot of people miserable, it took Ben years to recover from the emotional toll this woman took on his life, but now i don't think she was just mean, now i think she was unhappy, i hope she is finally at peace..In a way it was good training, because i did a double take when Tiffianys mother started her shenanigans, but this time i knew how to handle it...and as my Granny says, you have your Daddys blood and were raised by Melvin Pevehouse, that is a dangerous combination...She's right, this time i stood my ground...and i don't back up...